How Good Can Come From Bad

Posted by

When something bad happens, we often ask, “why did this happen?

How can we remain positive in the face of evil?

In Genesis 50:20, Joseph says “Even though you planned evil against me, God planned good to come out of it. This was to keep many people alive, as he is doing now.”

Let’s explore this quote in the context of the story of Joseph, who suffered the most in the book of Genesis.

Joseph was his father Jacob’s favorite among his 12 sons. Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him. Jacob’s gifting Joseph the technicolor dream coat epitomized the special treatment Joseph received. The brothers later sold Joseph into slavery and lied to their father that Joseph was killed. For the rest of Jacob’s life, he mourned the loss of his favorite son. Jacob and Joseph’s ultimate reunion was a beautiful moment of personal evolution for them both.

Joseph was then falsely accused of sexually assaulting his slave owner, Potiphar’s wife, and then locked in prison. In prison, fellow inmates noticed Joseph’s gift of presciently interpreting dreams and later referred Joseph to help Pharaoh manage the land of Egypt. Joseph rose to be the second most powerful man in Egypt and saved an entire region from famine.

While Joseph’s arrogance made some of his early suffering self-afflicted, his faith fortified him during his imprisonment and loss of his family.

Although Joseph’s early life was characterized by conflict with his siblings and suffering, he ultimately elevated himself and unified his family. He was able to bring together communities for togetherness with blessings of abundance, peace, and prosperity. Joseph suffered a lot during his life but he ultimately catalyzed so much good for so many.  Joseph’s faith in God carried him throughout his difficult challenges.

In addition, Joseph was also able to unify the Land of Egypt and the Children of Israel.  When “Joseph went up to bury his father. All Pharaoh’s officials accompanied him—the dignitaries of his court and all the dignitaries of Egypt” (Genesis 50:7)

The story of Genesis is marked by continual sibling rivalry and fighting.  Kane and Abel, then Isaac and Ishmael, then Jacob and Esau, and finally Joseph and his brothers. Genesis is concluded with the unity among Joseph and his brothers. Joseph is later buried in Israel by Moses.

Exodus teaches us the true power of faith in God and unity of community as Moses, Miriam, and Aaron are the first truly unified siblings (from their life beginning) and with their faith in God’s promise, they ultimately delivered the Children of Israel to the Promised Land as promised by God.

In the face of bad events, goodness is only possible with faith in God and through unity among community.  Love and support among the community.  While the story of Genesis is marked by sibling conflict in the beginning, Genesis ultimately ends with the resolution of conflict through faith in God and the unification of family and community, which after much suffering, brings about goodness.

Further Reading:

You can read more about the story of Joseph here.

Aesop told a fable about the strength of unity.  A father told his fighting sons to pick up a pile of twigs. First he asked his sons to break them one by one.  Easy. Then he asked one of his son to ties them together. None of the son’s could break the bundled sticks. The father taught the son’s the importance of coming together. You can read more about this story here.

Faith Vs. Fear: What do Moses and Eminem share in common?

Posted by

How can you overcome fear in order to move forward?

I would like to explore Eminem’s song “Lose Yourself” from the film 8 Mile and Numbers 13 when Moses sent advance spies to explore the Land of Israel.

Fear is a captivity of the mind about facts and circumstances of the present encumbered by past experiences.

When fear grips your mind, this mental captivity spreads out to create paralysis of your body, making it so that you cannot move to the future.

How can you be aware of fear in the present and still be able to move to the future?

Faith.

With Faith, you can see beyond the present and believe in future possibilities. It does not mean that you are blind or unaware of the challenging circumstances of the present.  Faith fortifies you in the present to enable your movement to the future. There is no need to fear because God is with us (Numbers 14:9). You are filled with faith of future possibilities to carry you forward through present obstacles. Faith in God’s promise that we will live in the land of milk and honey with our children and children’s children and beyond.

In the movie, 8 Mile, Eminem faced his personal demons in order to create a better life for himself and his family.  In the final rap battle, Eminem sang “Lose Yourself” as a testament to his ability to move forward with faith and overcome his fear.

Eminem acknowledged his fears:

“His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth but the words won’t come out
He’s choking”

Nevertheless, Eminem also expressed his faith in the future which enabled him to overcome his fear in the present:

“You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime .”

In Numbers 13, the Lord said to Moses: “Send men to explore Canaan, which I’m giving to the Israelites. Send one leader from each of their ancestors’ tribes.”

So at the Lord’s command, Moses sent these men from the Desert of Paran. All of them were leaders of the Israelites. Included in the 12 spies, was Caleb and Hoshea. (Number 13:2-3)

But Moses gave Hoshea, son of Nun, the name Joshua.

Forty days later, they came back from exploring the land.  They came back to Moses, Aaron, and the whole community of Israel at Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. They gave their report and showed them the fruit from the land.

This is what they reported to Moses: “We went to the land where you sent us. It really is a land flowing with milk and honey. Here’s some of its fruit. But the people who live there are strong, and the cities have walls and are very large. We even saw the descendants of Anak there. The Amalekites live in the Negev. The Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the mountain region. And the Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea and all along the Jordan River.”

Caleb told the people to be quiet and listen to Moses. Caleb said, “Let’s go now and take possession of the land. We should be more than able to conquer it.” (Numbers 13: 25-30)

All twelve spies agreed that the Land of Israel was full of danger and risks. However, only two of the 12 spies, Caleb and Joshua had the confidence that they could successfully defeat the threatening armies and take possession of the land.  The other ten spies threatened to stone Caleb and Joshua to death.

What made Caleb and Joshua different?  First their names, Caleb means heart and Joshua means salvation (also the name of Jesus). They believed in the destiny that God had told Moses.  In Numbers 14, God told them that he had given the Land of Israel to the Children of Israel. They had fervent faith in a future where all of 12 tribes would live in the Land of Israel and have their children, and children’s children, and future generation live in the land of milk and honey.

It is fervent faith in God in the present that enables us to overcome the short-term challenges of the present and seek the future possibilities. As Eminem eloquently sang, You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime!”

God’s Promise of Living in the Land of Milk and Honey

  • On that day, God promised Avram to give his descendants the Land of Israel (Genesis 15:12-20 18)
  • So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey (Exodus 3:8)

What is the difference between leaders and teachers?

  • Teachers use words to inspire ideas that can fuel faith and catalyze continued action to overcome fears in the future.
  • Leaders use action to inspire collective action in the moment to overcome fears of the present.

Further Viewing

You can enjoy Eminem’s Lose Yourself here.

 

 

 

What is the difference between Story and Plot?

Posted by

Did you hear the story about …..?  Nearly always captures people attention and curiosity.

Can I list my reasons about….?  Often make the audience shut down.

I would like to share a couple of stories about how Stephen Sondheim and Hillel share stories.

Did you hear the story when Stephen Sondheim shared his story about West Side Story?

When Stephen Sondheim was interviewed about the Revival of West Side Story in 2021, 64 years after its initial debut in 1957, a reporter asked what he thought was the reason that West Side Story remained popular. The reporter also asked Sondheim how he felt about some of the recent changes to the characters and adaptation to the current decade.

Approaching 91 years old, Sondheim said that he learned a lot as he reflected on his life. He said that the various script revisions really did not impact the meaning or appeal of West Side Story.  The reporter asked. “So what is the Story of “West Side Story”? Sondheim thought for a moment. “Let me see if I can put this succinctly,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. “It’s about a young man who grows up by falling in love, and it kills him.” That is the story – timeless pursuit of love.  All of the other aspects of the play are the Plot.  They really do not matter.  It is the story that we remember.  The details of the plot are an afterthought.

Did you hear the story about when Hillel taught a student the Torah while standing on one foot? 

There was another incident involving one gentile who came before Shammai and said to Shammai: Convert me on condition that you teach me the entire Torah while I am standing on one foot. Shammai pushed him away with the builder’s cubit in his hand. This was a common measuring stick and Shammai was a builder by trade. The same gentile came before Hillel.

Hillel converted him and said to him: “That which is hateful to you do not do to another; that is the entire Torah, and the rest is its interpretation. Go study.” (Talmud, Shabbat 31a)

These stories both highlight the difference between a story and a plot. The story is the core backbone that resonates with the audience. The plot is all the details and scaffolding affixed to this core. Both Sondheim and Hillel understood that the true story in narrative is its simple truths that grip our emotions and imaginations.

Story Telling Exercises:

I would like to share two exercises you can do to help you tell your own story.

Story Pose:

Place your mobile phone on a table and prepare to record a video of yourself.

Stand on one leg in a yoga tree pose with your hands in the air.

Press record and get back in pose and for 30 seconds and tell your story aloud.

Repeat the previous step 2-3 times.

Listen to your stories and write the words down.

You can then determine your key message.

Why stand on one foot with you hands in the air?

Hillel taught the student the torah standing on one foot in Shabbat 31a.

Standing on one foot makes you focus on the essence of the story and not get lost in the plot. It forces you to speak in a concise manner. When you have to concentrate on balancing you can’t meander into long winded and unnecessary explanations and details.

In addition, the combination of standing on one foot and raising your hands in the air creates pressure and anxiety. This nervous anxiety can replicate the feeling of public speaking in front of an audience. On the other hand, sitting on your couch is too comfortable. Standing on one leg with your hands in the air like a tree pose simulates the experience of presenting publicly to an audience.

Dream cards

This is another exercise of sharing a story in a group setting. In this case, it is a short and concise dream that you are sharing. The short message on the dream card focuses on the Story and does not allow you to get lost in the plot. You can read more about this memorable creative exercise here.

My personal footnote:

My mom, Myra Yellin Goldfarb Outwater (of blessed memory), taught me and my brothers our love of Broadway. We saw all of Stephen Sondheim’s Broadway shows and listened to his music over and over again while my mom drove us around in her car. Myra was a Drama Desk Award writer for over 50 years and never once missed a weekly deadline.

Steve Jobs talking about Pixar and storytelling

Steve Jobs said “no amount of technology will turn a bad story into a good story” and that Pixar’s early films had to prioritize a good story because the cost of animating was so high. He also shared insights into Walt Disney’s approach to storytelling. You can see more of his story insights here.

Further reading

  • You can read more about Stephen Sondheim’s interview here and here.
  • You can read more about Hillel’s story here and here.

 

 

 

 

 

Popeye, a Can of Spinach, and a Boy Named Abdullah

Posted by

Recently, I had a series of conversations with a few different friends that inspired me to write this blog.

The first conversation was with a friend named Sam.

Sam told me that he found that certain milestones no longer motivated him in the same manner they had earlier in his life. Sam is extraordinarily successful individual both personally and professionally. Additionally, he has overcome many challenges along the way.

Considering Sam’s search for new sources of motivation, I told him “Sam, you need to find a new can of spinach! Popeye routinely opened a can of spinach, gulped it down, and suddenly his strength was restored.” As Sam evolved and grew, he no longer reacted to his personal cans of spinach in the same way.

As we journey through life it is important that we take time to reflect. We must consider what aspects of our lives are constants and what are variables that need to adapt to our as we change and grow.

The second conversation was with a friend named Athena.

My friend Athena is a lifelong learner, continuously seeking new sources of knowledge and wisdom. Athena told me about how she found that children can be our greatest teachers. She described both learning from her teachers and from her students.

I learned that youth is not just a matter of biology. It can also be about philosophy. Youthful perspectives can stimulate fresh developments of the body and fight off calcification of the mind.

The final conversation that inspired me was one I had with a friend named Faisal. I had joined his family in Malta for a vacation.

One day, Faisal announced that we were going scuba diving. I had never been scuba diving before. Faisal is kind of a superman guy who is both athletic and adventurous. If I’m being perfectly honest, I was afraid.

During the drive to the diving spot, Faisal’s youngest son, Abdulla, a precocious 9-year-old, told me that he was not afraid and I did not need to be afraid either. He told me: “Uncle Andy, I will be right next to you. We can do it together! Trust me!”

The time to dive arrived. When I began to lower my head and mask below the water, I watched Abdulla and learned from his lead. My fear faded and my hopes soared. It was simply majestic to discover a new world under the water’s surface. I truly felt transformed. My trust and faith revealed an entire new world of possibilities.

On drive back from the dive, we passed the actual set of the 1980s “Popeye” movie filmed in Malta.

I didn’t consider the meaning of seeing the movie set of Popeye until my conversations with Sam and Athena.

Sam’s metaphorical loss of appetite for “Spinach” helped me reflect on our search for potential eternal sources of inspiration. Athena helped me think about our search for great teachers and the need for learning regardless of one’s biological age. Abdulla taught me to overcome fear.

When I combined these lessons from these three seemingly unrelated encounters, I realized that faith is my source of strength and that by trusting others, I could transform to cross new boundaries.

When I looked to the bible, the story of David vs. Goliath came to mind.
(In 1 Samuel 17, the story of David vs. Goliath unfolds.)

David knew who he was. He was not a warrior in military garb. He was a young and simple shepherd son whose source of strength was not a sword made by man, but his faith in G-d. Although he was the youngest, by defeating the Goliath, he was able to teach his community that one’s inner confidence emanates from an external source of faith.

While Popeye’s Can of Spinach can restore his strength and help win a fight. David’s faith in g-d, helped transform him into greatest potential, from a simple shepherd boy who defeated Goliath, to the leader and King of Israel.

With faith in G-d, it is not a limit of what we can be but rather what we can become.

I invite you to seek a new “Can of Spinach”, new teachers, and with renewed faith, to transform to cross new boundaries and evolve to new possibilities.

In 1 Samuel 17, the story of David vs. Goliath unfolds.

Goliath, the Philistine giant, an experienced warrior taunted the Children of Israel for 40 days. (10)  “Give me a man and let us fight each other”

 David, the youngest of 7 sons of Jesse, a simple shepherd who had not previously acted in war.

David said to Saul, “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.”

 Saul replied, “You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.”

But David said to Saul, The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”

Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.”

 Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head.  David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them.

“I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 

As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.  Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.

So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him.

Additional Reading:

You can read more about the Popeye Movie Set in Malta here.

Did you know that March 26th is National Spinach Day?

Andy’s maiden deep sea scuba dive, thanks to a boy named Abdullah!

Blessings of the Leap Year

Posted by

Do you wish you had more time?
What if you could double your time and joy?

Each autumn we observe daylight savings time. We “fall back” and gain an extra hour. Some people are so happy to get to sleep a little longer on the weekend. There seems to be so much happiness generated from a single extra hour!

In the Gregorian Calendar, every four years is a leap year. During a leap year we add an extra day: February 29. This year, 2024, is a leap year. The Gregorian calendar is a Solar calendar with minor seasonal adjustment and one extra day every four years. Many holidays are locked to a specific day regardless of the year. This is why Christmas is always on December 25, Easter is always a Sunday, and Thanksgiving a Thursday.

In comparison, the Muslim calendar is lunar based with no seasonal adjustment. Therefore, Ramadan moves back 10 days each year in comparison to the Gregorian calendar.

The Jewish calendar adds a whole month (Adar 1) seven times in 19 years, “roughly” one year in three – actually Years 3, 6, 8, 11, 14, 17, and 19. This is why Hanukkah can overlap with both Thanksgiving and New Year’s.  You can read more about the Jewish calendar here.

The significance of time and meaning of time is of paramount importance in the bible.

In Genesis, G-d mapped out the concept of the 7 days of creation.  Sacred time was outlined in Leviticus 23 when the festival framework was developed. You can read my eldest daughter’s discussion of Sacred Time in her Bat Mitzvah speech here.

In the book, Sabbath Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel explored the concept of Judaism being the celebration of a Temple of Time vs. a Temple of Space.

This distinction can be seen as an important persistence of Jewish celebration even in the darkest of times. Like the lighting of a menorah in a Concentration Camp during WWII or in the October 7 War in Gaza when the IDF celebrated the Maccabees while stationed in Gaza.

I would like to share an additional perspective on Adar 1 and Adar 2.

It is written in the Talmud in Taanit 29a: “When the month of Adar enters, we increase in joy”

I would like to share a recent joyous moment that I experienced at the beginning of this Leap Year.  On New Year’s Eve, Dec 31, 2023, my younger daughter Lucy visited me to celebrate New Years. Although it was just the two of us, our evening developed into a full and vibrant celebration of joy and jubilation. I had prepared a dinner of Lucy’s favorite recipes. Lucy suggested that we watch the Taylor Swift Eras Tour Video on Apple TV.  I promptly said yes! We watched the 3 hour concert while eating our New Year’s eve dinner. I was filled with joy to watch Lucy dance and dance. I also joined in and we danced together. As the clock count proceeded, we began our leap year of 2024 leaping and laughing.

Last weekend during Adar, Lucy visited me again and we reflected on our joyous NYE’s moment and agree that we will cherish it forever. These memories reminded me of when Miriam spontaneously grabbing a timbrel and lead the women in song and celebration of crossing the Sea of Reeds and reaching the wilderness safely (Exodus 15:20-27). It was a truly joyous moment for the children of Israel as they escaped slavery in Egypt

If we can experience joy from an extra hour (daylight savings time) or an extra day (February 29), imagine the possibilities of an entire extra month (Adar 2).

This special period of double Adar is an opportunity for a double portion of Adar’s joy.  It is an opportunity for double jubilee in seeing, believing, and celebrating with friends, family, and those around you.

Additional Reading:

  • You can watch video of Miriam Song by Debbie Friedman here.
  • You can read more about the celebration of sacred time here.
  • You can read more about the month of Adar here.

Taylor Swift’s Tokyo Travels and Lessons from the Torah: The Double Blessing of Giving to Others Before ourself

Posted by

Have you ever had someone care about your well being more than their own?

On Taylor Swift’s recent trip (February 7-10, 2024) to Tokyo for her Eras Tour, there was speculation about whether she could perform the final show of her Tokyo concert and still make it to Las Vegas in time to celebrate and cheer on her boyfriend, Travis Kelce’s Kansas City Chiefs in the Superbowl. On social media, there was widespread concern and calculation about the logistic of her travels.

On February 2, 2024, the Embassy of Japan in the USA released a statement confirming that Taylor Swift would be able to both perform at her final concert in Tokyo and arrive in Las Vegas in time for the big game. In an homage to Taylor Swift fans, The Embassy of Japan incorporated the titles of some of Taylor Swift songs into the body of the official statement.

Just like the Japanese Embassy wrote lyrical references to connect with Taylor Swift; Taylor Swift spoke Japanese phrases to connect with her adoring Japanese fans.

With all the challenges currently facing the world, why did the Japanese Embassy feel that making an official statement on this matter was so important?

I believe that it reflects Japanese culture. As much as Japanese fans were looking forward to celebrating with Taylor Swift at her concert, they would not be able to fully enjoy the concert knowing that their own pleasure would preclude Taylor from celebrating Travis Kelce’s athletic achievements. While the Tokyo Eras concert would be a “once in a lifetime” celebration for the Japanese fans, missing her boyfriend’s Super Bowl appearance would potentially be a “once in a lifetime” disappointment to Taylor.  Accordingly, the Japanese Embassy prepared all the logistics necessary to enable Taylor Swift to both celebrate her Japanese audiences in Tokyo and celebrate as part of the Super Bowl audience in Las Vegas as well.

The double blessings of both Japanese fans enjoying the Taylor Swift concert and being able to wish her luck and great joyful sendoff to Taylor for her journey back to Las Vegas brought an even greater jubilation to the Japanese fans.

In her final encore, Taylor shouted to the audience  “Do you have time for one more song!?” Members of the audience near the front of the stage yelled back: ”Taylor, we have time, but do you?”  The Japanese fans did not want to cause any complications for Taylor’s Travels.

I looked to the Torah to find a comparable example of looking out for the welfare at other’s, even at one’s own expense.

In Genesis, Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt to plead with Joseph for food for Canaan due to the famine.  After a lifetime of the brothers persecuting Joseph which ultimately resulted in the brothers selling Joseph into slavery. Joseph’s disappearance created two separate negative situations: the brothers lied to Jacob and told him that Joseph was killed by a lion and showed his bloody colored coat. Jacob mourned for the rest of the years in his life.  In addition, Joseph was sent as slave to Egypt and ended up in jail.

….Now for the double joy / double blessing…

In Genesis 44:2 Joseph secretly placed a silver goblet in the bag of Benjamin (his true blood brother by their same birth mother Rachel).

When Joseph “searched” the bags of the brothers and “found” that Benjamin had “stolen” the silver cup, he pronounced that Benjamin would not be able to leave and needed to remain as a slave in Egypt.

Judah then stated.  I cannot imagine the pain that our father would experience knowing that both his sons would be gone – Joseph by death many years ago and now losing Benjamin.

Judah pleaded. Please take me as your servant instead of Benjamin. At this very moment, Joseph realized that his brothers had changed.

Judah was no longer of the philosophy of “I am not my brother’s keeper” from Genesis 4:9 when G-d asked Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” and he answered, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” knowing full well that he had killed Abel.

In the beginning, Judah and his brothers tormented Joseph and their father, Jacob, with no sense of shame or remorse.

In that moment of offering to switch slavery places with Benjamin to both protect Benjamin from harm and his father, Jacob, from further grief, Judah demonstrated his transformation from a bellicose and bullying brother to a sensitive sibling seeking spiritual harmony for Benjamin and his father, Jacob, and truly seeing the impact of selling Joseph into slavery.

Joseph then revealed his true identity to the brothers, and they had a full family reunion and reconciliation, and Jacob’s heart was healed and fulfilled.

Seeking the goodness for others at one’s one expense can bring double joy and double blessings.

I hope that you too can experience double joy and blessings during this additional gift of time and celebration of the double Adar of this Leap Year.

Dancing with their timbrels: Remembering the beautiful souls of the Supernova Festival

Posted by

On October 8, at the Las Vegas Sphere, Bono and U2 changed the lyrics of the song “Pride” to honor the tragic loss of 260 young Israelis and Americans who were brutally massacred by Hamas terrorists.

The significance of this small moment may reverberate forever.  Many still remember Elton John’s rededication of “Candle in the Wind” to Princess Diana at her funeral in 1997 by changing the lyrics from those honoring the legacy of Marilyn Monroe (who converted to Judaism) to those honoring Lady Di.

Music has always been an important language of healing and community in Judaism. In the story of exodus, Miriam sang and danced to inspire the children of Israel.

Exodus 15:20-21

“Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took a tambourine, and all of the women followed her with    tambourines, and dancing.”

Like Miriam, Bono used the universal and healing language of music to express solidarity and hope amidst immense pain.

While on stage, Bono told the crowd:

“Sing for our brothers and sisters — who they themselves were singing at the Supernova Sukkot      festival in Israel,” Bono said “We sing for those. Our people, our kind of people, music people. Playful,     experimental people. Our kind of people. We sing for them.”

“But our hearts and our anger, you know where that’s pointed. So sing with us…and those         beautiful kids at that music festival.”

Bono’s revised lyrics were as follows:

“Early Morning
October 7, as the sun is rising
In the desert sky
Stars of David
They took your life,
But they could not take your pride.”

He then repeated the “could not take your pride” line three times before leading U2 into the “Name of Love” chorus.

The song, originally released in 1984, was written by the rock band as a tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr, King was a passionate supporter of Israel’s security in order to have peace. Many Jewish leaders marched together with Dr. King to support the civil rights movement for Black Americans.

The Supernova Sukkot music festival brought together thousands of young people to dance and revel in music. But there, dozens of Hamas militants blew through Israel’s heavily fortified         separation fence and crossed into the country from Gaza to open fire on the innocent festivalgoers.

The open-air electronic music festival will go down in Israeli history as the site of the country’s worst civilian massacre after paramedics recovered at least 260 bodies from a field near the     border with Gaza.

“We were hiding and running, hiding and running, in an open field, the worst place you could possibly be in that situation,” said Arik Nani from Tel Aviv, who had gone to the party to celebrate his 26th    birthday. “For a country where everyone in these circles knows everyone, this is a trauma like I could never imagine.”

In addition, in utterly horrific and painful personal news, one of my closest Israeli friend’s        daughter and boyfriend were murdered by Hamas Terrorists at the Nova Peace Music Festival.  Please join me in praying for their souls and for all other victims, as well as praying for the safe    return of the hostages.

I am grateful for President Biden unequivocally stating the complete support of Israel and         condemning the unacceptable brutality of the Hamas Terrorists.

This compassionate chorus of song to support Israel in the face of Hamas terror is dramatically        juxtaposed by the sinister silence of some of our leaders and antisemitism at home and abroad.  Former Presidents of the US and the newly established President of Harvard deafened us with    silence and hardened our hearts.

In the face of silence and in that of atrocities, let’s let the compassionate chorus of support for Israel and for peace, like the words sang by Bono, to serve as an inspiration for us seize the         moment to come together in comfort and show each other greater care.

May we all sing a song to remember the beautiful souls of the innocent lives lost at the Supernova Sukkot music festival to dance with their timbrels for us to all hear from now onto forever. May we never stand idly by and communicate complacence with sinister silence.

Please join and stand for Jewish and Israeli lives and for all Palestinians to live free of the Hamas Terror.

My friends have asked “What can we do?”

It’s simple:

  • Support your Jewish and Israeli friends. We are human and are deeply hurting in this moment.  Your outreach and care are deeply comforting in a world of with indifference and cruelty.
  • Educate yourself and others. If you choose to, watch the videos of the cruel and unimaginable brutality of the Hamas Terror attacks on innocent civilians. You can see for yourself in the primary material, though it may be very difficult to experience. You can also read about the attacks.
  • There are not two sides when it comes to raping and massacring 260 young kids. There are not two sides for taking women, children, babies, and the elderly hostage and parading them around the streets in Gaza to be tortured and mocked in public. This is inhumane and wrong.
  • Stand with Israel. The next few weeks will be very difficult. Israel has the right to defend itself and will respond in Gaza in a manner to make sure something like this will never happen again.
  • Give peace a chance and pray for the Saudi Arabia and Israel peace accords to happen and provide final stability to the region. We cannot allow support for Iran and Hamas Terrorists to impede the progress for peace and prosperity and spiritual access for Israeli and Palestinians to live free from Hamas Terror.
  • The Abraham Peace Accords have already yielded beautiful blessings. We need to continue them and not let terrorists impede our path to peace.

I am reminded of a quote from Golda Meir:

“We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill their    children. We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us.”

My dear friend, Eyal Waldman, suffered tragic loss with the Hamas Terrorists Murders of his daughter, Danielle Waldman, and her boyfriend, Noam Shay, at the supernova peace music festival. May their names forever be a blessing and may their souls shine inspiring light in periods of            desolate darkness.

Below are two videos of Eyal telling his personal story of how he helped so many Palestinians in his technology entrepreneurial journey, and how now, Hamas Terrorists took away his beloved daughter and boyfriend.

 

How to Rebuke with Respect? How to Criticize with compassion?

Posted by

Have you ever felt defensive when someone criticized you?

Have you offered advice with sincerity and the person not only ignored it, but actually got angry at you?

Friday July 21, 2023, At The Shul in Surfside, Florida, the Rabbi explored Deuteronomy 1. In his final days Moses rebuked the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land. This stimulated my curiosity about constructive criticism and reminded me of a personal story.

After several years of extraordinary medical efforts, it was clear that we were out of options and my mom’s days were numbered. She was determined to die with dignity in the view of her favorite garden. Accordingly, I arranged for her to have a final farewell with my younger daughter Lucy, then 16, who wanted to share her senior writing project with her Nana.

Knowing how proud Lucy was of her work I asked: “Mom, Please just make sure to tell her how wonderful her paper is!” Lucy presented her paper, but much to my dismay and horror my mom said “Lucy, that is not your best. You can do better.” Lucy was crestfallen. I was livid and sad. This could have been the last time they’d see each other!

Thankfully, the story has a happy ending (and not only because my mom lived long enough to hear Lucy’s revised essay).

I would like to share the story in Lucy’s words as she expressed in her Eulogy to Nana on November 2, 2015.

“Nana, you touched people with your words through your writing, and I am so inspired by your talent. You never stopped writing, book after book, articles, stories, and so much more. I always sent you every single essay I wrote, and believe me, there were a lot of them. I would send you an email every Sunday night with my latest work attached, and you would respond so quickly. You told it how it was. You never lied or exaggerated for my sake. When I wrote something you loved, you were so outspoken about how much you loved it. You would tell me how talented I am, and how proud of me you were. 

Just a couple of weeks ago, I wrote my senior writing project. I was so proud of it. I thought it was one of my best. When I shared it with you at the hospital, you shrugged and told me it was missing something. I was so disappointed that you didn’t like it. I couldn’t believe it. 

I became determined to improve it. When I went home, I worked on it for hours, editing it to make it better. Expanding my ideas so it was more thoughtful writing. When I went to visit you a few days later, you read my revised version, and told me you loved it. I was so happy. Not only did you compliment my writing, and make me feel good about my talents, you pushed me to be even better. You made me work hard to be the best I could be. I will never stop trying my hardest to do my best because I know that’s what you would have wanted me to do.

 I wish you could have read every single essay I will ever write, but I know I can’t be so lucky. I will never forget everything you taught me, and I will think of you every time I write. You will be able to live through my writing.”

I reflected on how effective my mom was with her criticism and believe that there is a sincere and strict scale for this process.  On the left side of the scale:

  • Rebuke
  • Criticize
  • Listen

They are all based on connections with the mind.

However, each of these could have emotional balancing elements of the heart on the right side of the scale.

  • Rebuke ….     with respect
  • Criticize ….     with compassion
  • Listen …      with love

I believe that the ears open when the love of the heart is connected with intention of the mind.

If the criticized party does not truly feel the love of the advisor, the advice may fall on deaf ears… or worse – trigger a negative response.

Lucy knew and felt Nana’s years of compliments and consistent compassion, thus was receptive to her advice.

In her final moments, my mom was able to share lifelong advice and feedback – respectful rebukes and compassionate criticism. Her longtime dedication as a Nana to Lucy enabled her to be receptive with open mind, open ears, and open hearts.

May you and your loved ones find the promised land with respectful, compassionate, and loving criticism.

Further Reading:

You can find another fascinating article about giving and receiving constructive criticism here.

How can you turn a Curse into a Blessing?

Posted by

I believe that the difference between a curse and a blessing is based on your outlook. A curse is when you look out and judge current circumstances as they presently are. A blessing is when you view the same circumstance in the future, taking into consideration the passage of time and the insights it has brought you.

While in this very moment, things may be sad or feel bad. Remember, you are looking outside – your outlook dictates your attitude. Over time , this too shall pass. The passage of time helps healing, feeling, and growth. As this happens you develop new insight – seeing inside yourself- enabling you to the discover the blessing your hardships have brought you.

I attended shabbat services at The Shul in Surfside on Friday May 12, 2023. There I learned about an inspiring torah teaching:

One day, a father sent his son into town to receive a blessing from the Rabbi.

When the son met with the Rabbi, the Rabbi offered him the following blessings:

  • “Plant …but never harvest”
  • “Bring those into home …but they will never leave”
  • “Send yours away from your home …but they will never return”
  • “May your house be destroyed…and that you will forever be a guest”
  • “May your dining table…be always dirty and messy”

When the son returned home his father “Did the Rabbi offer you blessings?”

“Blessings!?!?” the son said with exasperation, “No the Rabbi gave me curses! What kind of Rabbi did you send me to?”

“What did he tell you?” The father asked.

The son repeated the “curses”

  • “Plant …but never harvest”
  • “Bring those into home …but they will never leave”
  • “Send yours away from your home …but they will never return”
  • “May your house be destroyed…and that you will forever be a guest”
  • “May your dining table…be always dirty and messy”

“These are not curses, these are blessings!” the Father responded. Then he explained to his son the true meaning of the Rabbi’s words.

  • “Plant …but never harvest”
    -May your children live beyond you and not be harvested.
  • Bring those into home …but they will never leave”
    -May your children marry their spouses, and you welcome them into your family, and that they never leave your family.
  • “Send yours away from your home …but they will never return”
    -May you send your children to be married and that they stay happily married and live in their own homes and not return to live alone in your home.
  • “May your house be destroyed…and that you will forever be a guest”
    -After you pass away, may your spirit continue to live in the hearts and minds of your loved ones forever.
  • “May your dining table…be always dirty and messy”
    -May your children and grandchildren and great grandchildren gather around your dining table and be messy, and dirty, and have lots of compassionate chaos.

“Do you see son? These are all blessings.”

“Why did the Rabbi have to deliver them in such an obfuscated manner? Why not be more direct?” The son asked.

“The Rabbi wanted to teach you that life is not always what it appears on the surface. Often a curse can turn into a blessing with the appropriate attitude or benefit of time. Rarely is what we first see, what we ultimately understand. We need to look deeper and broader to understand and connect with life. Furthermore, the Rabbi wants us all to actively search for insights. Afterall, “insights” are those “sights” that are “inside” ourselves and others.

When we connect with others, we need to dig deeper, beyond the surface, to find the “nechama” (the soul) within each of us.

We can look to the Torah to find examples of Curses turning into Blessings:

Noah and the Flood:  Genesis 6

  • God destroyed the planet, but due Noah’s faith and following God’s plan, he was able to serve aboard the Ark. Noah’s saving his family and the animals enabled the planet to be reborn in goodness and flourish. The curse of destruction became a blessing of purification and rebirth.

Joseph’s Dreams and the Technicolor Dream Coat: Genesis 37,44, 45, and 50

  • Initially, Jacob intended to give Joseph a blessing with the technicolor dream. However it created jealousy and discord amongst Joseph’s brothers.  While intended to be a garment of beauty, after the brother’s contrived “fake” death of Joseph, it became the blood-stained evidence of Jacob’s loss.
  • Joseph told his brothers about his dreams that they would all bow down to him when he became a ruler.  This created tremendous hostility and jealousy of the brothers and they sold him into slavery.  Joseph’s dream blessings were initially seen as a curse by his brothers. Later when Joseph became the second highest ranking leader in Egypt, he used this power to save his brothers from famine. The curse of his rise to power was in truth a blessing to his jealous siblings. Joseph’s initial curse of being sold into slavery and locked in prison later became a blessing because it brought him into the knowledge and later trust of Pharaoh enabling his rise to power and allowing him to save the children of Israel from Famine.

The idea of curses turning into blessings can also be explored in the tradition of poetry. I am reminded of a poem by Swami Vivekananda. He was a 19th century Hindu monk, religious scholar, author, and philosopher. He is best known for his role as a major figure in bringing the practice of Yoga to the Americas.

An Answered Prayer
By Swami Vivekananda

I asked for Strength
And God gave me difficulties to make me strong
I asked for Wisdom
And God gave me problems to learn to solve
I asked for prosperity
And God gave me brain and brawn to work
I asked for courage
And God gave me dangers to overcome
I asked for Love
And God gave me people to help
I asked for favors
And God gave me opportunities
I received nothing I wanted…
…I received everything I needed

My Prayer has been answered

You can read more about how time and outlook can shape how life’s events affect you here and here.

Dream Cards: Dreams Shared are Dreamed Stronger Together

Posted by

Sharing your dreams with others can be empowering and surprisingly satisfying. It’s understandable to be nervous, but I assure you there are few things as powerful and positive as telling others your dreams.

When you dare to share your dreams with others 2 incredible things happen:

The first is that it will help to inspire you. It has been shown that telling other people your dreams can push you to achieve them. The act of saying them aloud to others makes them feel more real and can create a sense of accountability to hold yourself to.

The second is that in doing so, you invite others to help you achieve your dreams. The people who care about you want to see you succeed. When you share your dreams with them, you are offering them the chance to help you achieve your goal. What was once your silent wish has now become a collective dream shared by network of friends, family, and loved ones. Each step towards your goal is a triumph for everyone who helps you on the journey. In turn you can help those you care about and who helped you make their dreams a reality too.

I have a fun way to harness the power of sharing dreams and collectivizing goals into an exciting activity called the Dream Card Game. Part party game and part shared action plan, it is a fun and fulfilling time that offers you a chance to meaningful bond with your loved ones.

To play you just need some writing implements like pens or pencils, paper or index cards, and a group of colleagues, friends and/or family. The game is broken up into 4 easy steps.

Step 1: WRITE DREAM Each person takes a piece of paper/index card and secretly writes down a dream of theirs. Once everyone has written down their dreams, gather up the dream cards and shuffle them together.

Step 2: READ DREAM Each person is dealt a dream card. One by one, each players takes turns reading aloud the dream card they were given.

Step 3: GUESS DREAMER As a group, all players guess who the author of each of the dream cards was.

Step 4: SHARE DREAM The dream cards are collected again and shuffled together facedown once more. Then each player is dealt a dream card. Going in a circle each player reads aloud the dream card they were dealt. This time, they explain to the person who’s dream it is how they will help them achieve their goal. This continues until each player has figured out how to help another make their dream come true.

At the end of the game, you will have all learned a little more about your colleagues, friends, family, and/or loved ones. Beyond that, each of your individual dreams will now become goals shared by the collective. Together you will be able to make greater progress towards all of your dreams than you ever could alone.

Remember, dreams come true if you wish, work, and wait!

For more inspiration about achieving your dreams, read my blog on why we delay our dreams here.