Simple & Sweet: Andy’s Reflections on Bar/Bat Mitzvah Celebrations

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As members of the Breaking Matzo community know, I have a great love for Jewish ritual experiences, particularly those that involve family and friends. These moments, whether marking a lifecycle event or a holiday, have the potential to inspire and guide us long after they are over. As I reflect on the meaning of bar/bat mitzvah in my life, four snapshots appear in my mind’s eye; each carries a distinct lesson that has remained important to me throughout the years:

I. A Garage Bar Mitzvah – Simplicity & Sweetness
My bar mitzvah celebration took place on March 21, 1981 in Allentown, Pennsylvania. We did not meet in a synagogue, school, or hotel, but in my family’s two-car garage! I vividly remember my mom and dad moving our cars onto the street and sweeping and decorating our garage. My friends and I celebrated in our basement. It was so simple and so sweet. I have been to many beautiful (and much more lavish) bar/bat mitzvah celebrations since that time, but when I think of our garage bar mitzvah, it reminds me of what is most important about these festivities: family, friends, and the celebration of life.

II. Alex’s Bar Mitzvah – Creating Personal Meaning
Unlike my bar mitzvah celebration, my parents held my younger brother’s service and party at the Allentown Hilton. What most impressed me was not the hotel lobby or grand ballroom, but the special, personalized service my parents and Alex crafted together. While they followed the traditional framework of the Shabbat morning service, they also included readings and songs that made it more personally meaningful. It was my first realization that Judaism can be enacted flexibly and that each of us brings something unique to this amazing unfolding tradition.

III. Passing the Torah to My Daughters: From Generation to Generation
I will never forget Caroline and Lucy’s bat mitzvah celebrations. These were two of the proudest days of my life. I still remember standing on the bimah (front platform of the synagogue), passing the Torah to each of them—symbolically handing the tradition to them, just as my parents handed it to me — and then listening to them chant from the scroll and share their thoughts on the Torah portion. It was so powerful to see my little girls with hair bows and child play, emerge as young women with thoughtful ideas and perspectives.

IV. Capturing Memories – Visual Touchstones
This memory actually blends two experiences from my youth and adulthood: I have always been a visual person. In fact, I used my bar mitzvah money—all 350 dollars—to buy my first painting (created by my mom’s artist friend). It is this same artistic sensibility that led me to prepare montages for countless family celebrations. For my daughters’ bat mitzvahs, my goal was to capture images from each of their 13 years in 13 minutes! I spent an enormous time preparing each of these photographic presentations, and loved every moment of the process. It was deeply gratifying to witness the joy it brought to the girls and our family and friends. I have watched the montages many times as a way of remembering these special events and the people I love.

Viewing Photo Montage

Left to right: Rachael (Lucy and Caroline’s mom), Andy, Lucy, and Caroline (Andy’s daughters) enjoy the photo montage Andy created.

What do you remember most when you close your eyes and reflect on your bar/bat mitzvah experiences or other life cycle rituals? What are the lessons you carry with you from these sacred moments in time?

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parties — Remembering What Matters Most

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How can you plan a fun AND meaningful bar/bat mitzvah celebration?

Far too many people plan “over-the-top” bar and bat mitzvah parties. For a hilarious, but searing critique of this phenomenon, we encourage you to watch the movie Keeping Up with the Steins — a modern classic. As the title suggests, we can all get lost in trying to “keep up” with or impress others, even while marking a sacred occasion.

In thinking about this temptation and the sad reality of the competitive bar/bat mitzvah culture, we’re sharing an excerpt (edited) from Caroline Goldfarb’s (Andy’s daughter) bat mitzvah teaching in which she spoke of the importance of balancing the “holy day” and “holiday” aspects of this rite of passage:

The way you decide to spend your bar or bat mitzvah day determines whether it is a holiday or a holy day. Notice how close these two words are. A holiday belongs to us; it’s about what we want, when we want it, and how we will do it. It’s about having fun, without necessarily thinking about why we are celebrating. A holy day belongs to God, and it requires us to reflect on the meaning of our lives… Any special occasion can be either a holiday or a holy day… In thinking honestly about my own bat mitzvah experience today, I would say that I have landed somewhere in the middle along the continuum. Of course, I do care about my dress and the party, but I also care a lot about the service I am helping to lead and my growth as a Jewish person. I like to think of my bat mitzvah experience as a person holding two weights: one symbolizing the party and one symbolizing the service. I need to be strong and balanced to hold both. I am trying to make this day a “holy holiday.”

Andy & daughter, Caroline dance

Andy & Caroline (Andy’s daughter) celebrate her Bat Mitzvah, May 9, 2009.

We realize it is a struggle to achieve the kind of balance Caroline spoke of at her bat mitzvah. It is important that we mark the seasons of the year and of our lives thoughtfully and joyously. That is the animating spirit of Breaking Matzo: making these occurrences “magical, meaningful, and memorable”! Given the unfortunate tendency in today’s culture to tip the scales towards big, expensive, and flashy bar/bat mitzvah parties, it is important to remember what we are celebrating and why we are doing so. Keeping these things in mind, experiencing “holy holidays” is possible…Just imagine!

Please share this with your bar/bat mitzvah child…
How do you envision your bar/bat Mitzvah service and party? How can you relate your Torah portion to your life today? How will you make your bar/bat mitzvah a truly “holy holiday”?

Shibori Challah Cover

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Shibori is the Japanese word for “twist or wring”.

This Japanese form of dyeing uses Indigo as the main form of dye. Methods include dyeing fabric by rolling, bending, tying, binding, folding, twisting and pressing. We immediately fell in love with this form of dyeing as its main color is Indigo Blue. This technique originated in Japan (where Breaking Matzo’s Andy Goldfarb has lived and traveled throughout the years). One of the tricks behind indigo dyeing is that once you have prepared the bath of dye in your vat, it no longer appears blue until, of course, it is exposed to oxygen. Magic! Remember whatever you use to resist the fabric will repel the dye – be it wood, rocks, and rubber bands. The materials used to resist can easily be found around your home. There are so many techniques from simple to abstract to create different patterns – we played around but look at our results!

And PLEASE post your results on Facebook or Instagram!

Make sure to use a large enough napkin to cover the traditional two challahs at your bar/bat mitzvah blessing table. This makes a gorgeous challah cover and you could even delight in creating a matching chair cover for the Horah!

Materials:

  • Indigo Tie Dye Kit
  • Napkins (for cover)
  • Rubber Gloves
  • 5 Gallon Plastic Bucket With Lid
  • Paint Stirrer or Yard Stick for Stirring
  • Rocks or pebbles, rubber bands, wood boards, popsicle sticks
Shibori Challah Cover Materials

 

Step 1: pour 4 Gallons of warm water into bucket

Shibori Challah Cover Step 1

 

Step 2: Pour indigo powder into bucket. Stir in a circular motion

Shibori Challah Cover Step 2

 

Step 3: Pour soda ash and Hydro into bucket while still stirring

Shibori Challah Cover Step 3

 

Step 4: Stir all contents slowly reversing opposite direction dragging stick
along wall of bucket to incorporate. Put lid on bucket and let rest 1 hour.

Shibori Challah Cover Step 4

 

Step 5: While waiting for dye bath, start folding napkins! There are many techniques!!
You can use wood boards, rubber bands, binder clips, and rocks and wrap napkins in
all different ways to find your favorite pattern. Here we used wood boards and rubber
bands (both come with the Indigo Dye Kit). Have fun and try a variety of methods….
no matter it will be your original shibori design!

Shibori Challah Cover Step 5a Shibori Challah Cover Step 5b Shibori Challah Cover Step 5c Shibori Challah Cover Step 5d Shibori Challah Cover Step 5e Shibori Challah Cover Step 5f Shibori Challah Cover Step 5g

 

Step 6: Check back with dye after 1 hour to make sure the dye “flowers” on top.
Move flower aside along the side of the bucket and make sure the dye is
yellowish green – dye will not appear blue until it is exposed to oxygen.

Shibori Challah Cover Step 6

 

Step 7: Dip items into “bath” for 10 minutes.  We used wire to help hold items
(you don’t want them to hit the bottom of the bucket as it will pick up settled residue.

Shibori Challah Cover Step 7

 

Step 8: Take Items out of bath (they will look green) and expose to air
until it turns blue. Put lid on vat while you wait for items to change color.

Shibori Challah Cover Step 8

 

Step 9: Unwrap items you dyed and run under water until water runs clear.
Repeat Re-dip into dye another 5-10 minutes. Let rest 12-24 hrs.

Unwrap the rubber bands and boards and check out your design!! Make sure to wash out with water until it runs clear of dye.

Shibori Challah Cover Step 9

Send in your ideas and designs…we would love to see YOUR unique creations!

Caroline’s Bat Mitzvah Speech

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My Torah portion is taken from the book of Leviticus, beginning with chapter 23, verse 1. In my portion, God is telling Moses what to tell the rest of the Jews. What he is telling him is about the “sacred occasions.” The ones mentioned are Shabbat, Passover, and Sukkot.

There is a lot of talk about when you do work, and when you don’t. When referring to the day when you don’t work, the word Shabbat is used.  The word Shabbat literally means, “to stop.” But what are we really stopping? We’re not just stopping working at our occupations; we’re stopping our normal routine to allow time for ourselves, our family, and God.

The way you decide to spend your day determines whether it is a holiday or a holy day. Notice how close they are. A holiday belongs to us; it’s about what we want to do, when we want to do it.  It’s about having fun, and we don’t really think about what we’re even celebrating. A holy day belongs to God, it’s about thinking about God, and reflecting. It is meaningful and personal.

But in the end, any sacred occasion can be either a holiday or a holy day. I was trying to think of the best way to convey this thought about holidays and holy days, and I decided what better example than my Bat Mitzvah itself. I could be just thinking about the party that I’m having tonight. Thinking about the presents, my dress, the way the room is going to look, and the other countless things that there are to think about that have to do with the party. That would be a holiday. I could be just thinking about the service that I’m having right now. Thinking about my torah, haftarah, the trope, what it means to become a Bat Mitzvah, and the many prayers that are going to be said and have already been said.  That would be a holy day. I feel that I am in the middle of that spectrum. I care a lot about the party and that stuff, but I also care a lot about the service and my Jewish identity. I believe this is the best way to become a Bat or Bar Mitzvah. If I only cared about the party, there’d be no point in having a service because I’d be doing something that I don’t care about, and you should always try 100% and there’d be no point to spend all this time on something that I wasn’t going to put my 100% into. If I only cared about the service, well, that wouldn’t work either, because you have to have some way of celebrating all the hard work that went into the service.

I like to think of my Bat Mitzvah, this day, as a person holding two weights. One symbolizing the celebration, and one symbolizing the service. I have to be strong to hold both. I have to be strong to make sure that I don’t slip to either side of the spectrum, that I don’t lose sight of either of the parts of this great day. The person that fits best into this metaphor is my dad. He’s physically strong enough to hold both weights, but also, I think he does an amazing job with really caring about the Jewish aspects of “sacred occasions,” but also has fun and celebrates the “sacred occasions.”

Those of you here who have enjoyed our Passover seder or have eaten under our sukkah (the only built in sukkah in Boston) know what I mean. He is the perfect example of someone who can make a holy holiday, which is a hard thing to do. I want to be able to make this very special day in my life, a holy holiday. And I’m so glad that all of you could be here to join me in its celebration.

DIY Havdalah Candle

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Havdalah marks the end of the sabbath and the beginning of a new week. Naturally this constitutes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service taking place at sundown on Saturday. This braided multi-wick candle is beautifully lit during the ceremony as a blessing is heard. This ceremony is popular for its beauty and timing (just in time for an evening party to follow the service). We used rolled beeswax (as we used in another one of our DIYs-see hanukkah menorah candles to create this fabulous DIY!

Materials:
Beeswax and Wick
Hairdryer  (if wax is not pliable-usually when too cold)
Knife
Rubber gloves

Before you begin, lay out three different color 16” beeswax sheets.
Cut out two of each color  4” x 8” sheet of each color. Totaling 3- 4” x 8” sheets.
Measure 6-8 ½”wick ½” for each sheet (3 in total).

DIY Havdalah Candle Materials

 

Step 1:
Roll each wax tightly around laid out wick so wick is hanging out 1/2 “ on one side
laying from end to end of 8” side.

DIY Havdalah Candle Step 1

 

Step 2: Roll wax with wick in the middle from end to end.
Note: If wax begins to break,  heat for a bit with blowdryer to make more pliable.

DIY Havdalah Candles Step 2

 

Step 3: Repeat three times with three different color waxes.

 

Step 4: Join three pillars together and squeeze at base of candles
to join them together at the bottom.

DIY Havdalah Candle Step 4

 

Step 5: Braid All wax pieces together.

DIY Havdalah Candle Step 5

 

DIY Havdalah Candle

Personalized Kiddush Cup

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Jewish special occasions such as a bar/bat mitzvahs begin with a blessing over a cup of wine.

Create this one-of-a-kind Kiddush cup to commemorate this special occasion. We customized our Kiddush cup to include the name and date of the bat//bar mitzvah child. This personal touch adds those personal details to a very special occasion which can be handed down through the generations. Each Mitzvah celebrated, another family member can add their name and date to commemorate their special occasion – eventually becoming a family heirloom!

Materials:

DIY Kiddush Cup Materials

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 1:
Stir paint before using. Paint cup being careful not to paint the rim
around cup as it is not food safe.

DIY Kiddush Cup Step 1

 

Step 2: Let dry and add name and mitzvah date with paint pen.
Let dry a full 24 hrs.

 

Bake in oven at 150 degrees for 35 minutes.
Remove from oven and let cool.
Spray varnish and let dry.

DIY Kiddush Cup

Focusing on the Essence of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Ritual: Thinking Out of the Box

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How can you have no party, no guests, no service and still create a meaningful bar/bat mitzvah celebration? What are your out-of-the-box bar/bat mitzvah ideas?

Thinking outside the box is something that has always inspired me. My niece Sophia celebrated her bat mitzvah in such a creative and meaningful manner. Instead of an elaborate party and public service, Sophia studied on her own and wrote a letter to her friends and family about her Torah portion and her thoughts on being Jewish. Instead of receiving traditional gifts, Sophia asked each person to give her a gift of writing a letter about what Judaism means to them.

While this manner of becoming a bat mitzvah may not be for everyone, I certainly wanted to share this inspiring out of the box celebration idea.

Note: I am including the text of Sophia’s letter and my response here (link to Andy’s response).

—————————————————–

Dear Family and Friends,

Let me introduce myself. I am Sophia Lena Santos Goldfarb, daughter of Manuel Santos and Miriam Goldfarb. Bat Mitzvah literally means “Daughter of the Commandant”. I never had a formal Bat Mitzvah at the age of 12-13, but throughout the years I have always practiced Judaism. My whole life I’ve studied, learned about and celebrated the holidays such as Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Chanukah, Purim, Passover, and most importantly Shabbat. I have learned about our rituals…, our history — ancient and contemporary, the diaspora, the Ashkenazim, the Sephardim, the Holocaust, the birth of the State of Israel and her challenges — and more. I have also enjoyed the food, music, comedic legacy and fun. Although I did not have a traditional bat mitzvah ceremony, I still studied my parasha (Torah portion) and continue to explore the Hebrew language. Jewish values, people and culture; these things are important to me, in fact, fundamental to my identity.

My parashah was Nitzavim found in Deuteronomy. This text comes near the end of the Torah and contains many important concepts — important to the Jewish people, but also important to me personally. In Nitzavim, Moses gathers the Israelites on the day of his passing to enter them into a covenant with G-D. My understanding is that there are four key points in this parashah: First, the unity of Jews, “You stand today, all of you, before the L-rd your G-d.” Second, the notion of redemption, the outcast may always return to the “Land which your fathers have possessed.” Third, the importance of applying the text, the messages of the Torah, to our everyday lives. “It is not beyond you, nor is it remote from you. It is not in heaven…It is not across the seas…Rather, it is very close to you”. And lastly, and so interestingly, we are given the concept of choice in Nitzavim. “Life and death I have set before you, blessing and curse. And you shall choose life.” The commandment tells us to choose life. We are reminded however that the choice is ours. This is a freedom not to be taken lightly.

From the Parsha, I have come to understand that 1) I always have a home amongst the Jewish community and family. That I, in fact, do belong among Jews and Jewish culture; and that 2) should I stray, I have the forgiveness of my people and G-d, and the opportunity to redeem myself. 3) I would like to be a “daughter of Commandment’ so I can take the message from the Torah and apply them to my own life, in order to help others and be the best person I can be. Text is not just words and metaphors; this is where rubber meets the road. And 4) most importantly, I think I have the choice and freedom to make decision in my life, always guided by the above principles.

In conclusion, as I am growing into an adults (I am now 16), it would mean a lot to me to hear from you, my family and friends, about what it means for you to be Jewish. This is a very broad question, I know, and can be interpreted in many ways. But I want to hear from all of you, secular and religious, Atheists, Agnostics, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, whatever you are and however you, per Nitzavim, have chosen to live Because when conjoined, that is exactly what makes it/us so interesting. We are all Jews, and this has different meaning for all of us. I know this is a lot to ask and you don’t get any great food or party at the end (well hey, you didn’t have to fly to Boston or pay for a hotel ? )…but I’m asking for just one page (more if you desire of course) about the meaning of Judaism for you. Total honesty is all I ask. Once you have sent me your words, my family and I will make a book of all your letters that I will keep with my for the rest of my life. This book too will no doubt be a buoy in good times and dark times, something that I will always treasure and look to for wisdom. Thank you all so much.

Sincerely,

Sophia

See Andy’s letter to Sophia here.

Centerpieces for Charity

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Flowers, candles, candy all of which are commonly used as centerpieces at events ….the possibilities are endless when it comes to centerpieces for your child’s bar/bat mitzvah, but how about creating a centerpiece that’s magical and meaningful?

Why not encourage the values of tikkun olam and giving back by donating your centerpieces to a charity of your choice. This could be part of your child’s mitzvah project making them part of the process and more meaningful to them. There could be a few different charities (each represented in a different centerpiece) or, as we designed here, pick a charity, contact them, and ask if they have a suggested contribution list they can send you and create centerpieces based on their lists which can be donated to them after your event.

We had fun creating a themed centerpiece. Our “Mealtime” themed centerpieces were donated to The Grow Clinic at Boston Medical Center. In addition to “Mealtime” how about, “sleepy time”, “playtime” or another  fun theme. You can color coordinate the items on each table, or pick a genre such as (games, snacks, article of clothing). Have your child participate (as part of their mitzvah project), get them involved in picking out the items and designing the basket. Then, after the event have them deliver and see how giving can be better than receiving. Not sure where to donate? Do a bit of research – there are plenty of places in need of donations. Help your child find something they feel passionate about and help them lead the way.  Maybe there is a local camp in need of new and used sports equipment? Or, does your child have a love for animals and want to help. Whatever you choose will be meaningful and fulfilling for your child and your family?

MEALTIME CENTERPIECE

Bar Mitzvah Centerpiece for Charity

 

Supply Donation Suggestion List from Grow Clinic at Boston Medical. Some “MEALTIME” items they have listed you could add to a centerpiece:

  • Thermos, straw bottles, 12oz, Foogo (Available at Target)
  • 16 and 32oz calibrated plastic bottles with cap
  • Baby bottles with nipples Avent, Breast Flow, Dr. Brown’s
  • BPA free Sippy cups- non spill – all ages
  • BPA free Sippy cups – soft top
  • Cups with straws attached
  • Spoons for babies, Spoons and forks for toddlers
  • Toddler plates, suctioned
  • Blenders
  • Gerber graduate meals
  • Stage 3 and 4 Baby foods
  • Flintstones complete chewable vitamins with iron and zinc
  • Poly-vi-sol with iron- liquid
  • Tri-vi-sol with iron- liquid
  • Wipes
  • Cereal bars, no nuts
  • Cook books for kids  (multicultural)
  • Measuring spoons, measuring cups, baby feeding bowls

Questions? Please email LaKeisha M. Gandy, Administrative Associate Director, Boston Medical Center, at Lakeisha.Gandy@bmc.org or call 617-414-5251. Any donation big or small is welcome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Personalized Hebrew Name Plate

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Each of Us Has a Name

Each of us has a name
given by God
and given by our parents

Each of us has a name
given by our stature and our smile
and given by what we wear

Each of us has a name
given by the mountains
and given by our walls

Each of us has a name
given by the stars
and given by our neighbors

Each of us has a name
given by our sins
and given by our longing

Each of us has a name
given by our enemies
and given by our love

Each of us has a name
given by our celebrations
and given by our work

Each of us has a name
given by the seasons
and given by our blindness

Each of us has a name
given by the sea
and given by
our death.
     – Zelda, a Hebrew poet (1914-1984)

A Hebrew name is given to Jewish children at their birth and it is customary to be called upon their Jewish names during significant points in their Jewish life such as their birth and when they are called to the torah for their bar/bat mitzvah. Andy’s daughter Caroline’s Hebrew name, Rivkah Sarah, is after her Grandma Betty and Nanny Sophie. His daughter Lucy’s Hebrew name, Leah Hinda, is after her Grandma Lee and Grandma Helen.

Creating a beautiful work of art using a Hebrew name is a fun way for guests to learn about the meaning of their name. These signs double as a unique take home for your guests as well! You supply the materials and supplies and they create. Or, you can have a local artist live on-site at your event to create in front of your guests. Either way this is a unique and magical way to showcase your guests’ names and birthday (a special occasion) at your significant special occasion!

Materials:

Hebrew Name Plate Materials

 

Step1: Choose the Hebrew letters that represent your Hebrew name and
lay them (remember right to left) on your board side by side.

Step 2: Tape down the stencils

Hebrew Name Plate Step 2

 

Step 3: Dip sponge into paint (or paint inside stencil with paintbrush
for a more polished look)

Shibori Challah Cover Step 3

 

Step 4: When paint is dry to the touch carefully remove the stencils

Shibori Challah Cover Step 4

Add any embellishments you choose…..birthdate, name and meaning…..

 

Hebrew Name Plate Final

Lucy’s Bat Mitzvah Speech

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My Torah portion is Genesis chapter 12 through genesis chapter 17. I am specifically reading genesis chapter 17 verses 1 through 10.  But, in order to understand what is going on in those 10 verses, they need to be seen within the context of the whole Torah portion. Genesis chapter 12 begins with God asking Abram and Sarai to leave their native land, kindred, and their father’s house, to a land that God will show them. That journey culminates 5 chapters and 24 years later, with the 10 verses I chant today. In my 10 verses, we’re exploring transformation. The transformation of Sarai to Sarah, and Abram to Abraham. In each person’s name, the letter hay is added in Hebrew, which corresponds to the letter H in English. Their new names are AbraHam, and SaraH. When the letter hay is added to a person’s name in the Torah it signifies the name of God being added to their name. This is because in the Torah Gods name is spelled in hebrew, yud hay vuv hay. Literally, one of the letters of God’s name is being taken, and given to Abram and Sarai.

Ever since I learned about this transformation, it has been on my mind and I have been very curious about what it might mean in my own life, to have the letter hay added in my name. I asked myself this very question; I decided that it could cause me to feel pressured. Or maybe honored. But, if someone I really truly respect gave me an honor, I would want to live up to it. If I had gods name in me, I would know that I was extraordinary. But, I don’t mean better than everyone else, rather what I mean by extraordinary is that I would have the gift of being a part of something far larger than myself.

This summer my family and our friends, the Cutlers, took a trip to Israel. In Jerusalem, we visited the Western Wall. We were standing at the wall, and Randi Cutler asked us if we were feeling a little bit “jumpy”, I didn’t really understand what she meant but then as I stood there longer,  I experienced a strange feeling, a feeling that I had never experienced before. I think this is what Randi meant. The wall is a really powerful place because people have been going there, and having the same feelings as I did for almost two thousand years. The wall has been there longer than I, or any of you, have been around, and will outlive all of us, as well as all of our offspring to come, ulzaraha aharayha, just as it says in my torah portion. To me being extraordinary means to be connected to something larger than myself.

Then I had a second experience which brought another dimension of the passage into focus. This summer I went on a 2 week outdoor adventure program through the mountains in colorado. We had just completed a strenuous first day of our 5 day backpacking trip, and after we had rested a little bit in our tents, our counselors thought it would be fun to do a small hike since it wasn’t that late, and we had nothing else to do that night. There was a small mountain near our camp site, (well, we thought it was small) and we decided to hike it. So at about 9 o’clock at night, my group, which consisted of me, my friend, one more girl, and 9 boys set off on what we thought would be a simple, easy fun, 45 minute hike. After about the first half hour we started to realize that this was no easy 45 minute hike. The top of the mountain was no where in site, and the hike was starting to really wear on us, (keeping in mind we had already had a whole day of backpacking!!) My group of 12 kids started to split up; the few strongest hikers made their way to the far front of the pack, and  the hikers who like to take their time and enjoy the view, (thats me!), were in the middle, and of course there are always those few couple of people who tend to lag behind, so they were in the way back.

After about an hour and a half of hiking with still no site of the top of the mountain, we all started to realize that this hike was very different then we had originally intended. But, being the persevering kids that we are, we kept going, with open minds, thinking that we would reach the top soon enough. The hiking had become somewhat treacherous. It was to the point where I had to lean into the mountain to keep from slipping and falling down. I felt like the mountain was at a 90 degree angle, and I was really scared. I was out of breath, my legs ached, I honestly felt like I was going to pass out. I had no water left, and I had to drink my counselors water which tasted like iodine.

This was not a very pleasant hike, but, I had this image in my mind. An image of me at the top of this mountain, and thats what kept me going. Our whole group was in different places on the mountain. The strongest hikers were way ahead, and my friend Andrew and I were next, and then everyone else was still pretty far behind us. Now we had been hiking for over 2 hours, and I started to loose hope of getting to the top, but I still had that image. When our counsellor, Chris, called up to us and told us that it was getting to dangerous, and that we had to go down, I was really disappointed. The image slipped away from my mind. I felt like I had done all this work, yet had accomplished nothing. I thought it was about getting to the top.

When we reached the bottom I had realized that it wasn’t about getting to the top of the actual mountain, I had realized that I was on a journey. Like Sarai and Abram, I was being taken by God to see something. I thought it was going to be a beautiful view on the top of the mountain, instead, it was about something I was about to learn.

Sometimes the greatest views are not what you see when you look out from the top of the mountain, but what we see when we look inside at our own hearts. In Deuteronomy chapter 8 verse 2 Moses reminds the Israelites that like Abraham, they have journeyed in the wilderness. “Remember the long way that the lord, your God has made you travel in the wilderness. That god might test you, so that you could learn what was in your heart.”

The point of the journey of Abram to Abraham was so that he could discover what was in his heart, and how God might be in his heart, and when he discovered that, he became Abraham. No longer just simply Abram. As a bat mitzvah, I am on a journey to discover what is in my heart. And how I too, might become a person who has God in her heart. The movement from Abram to Abraham, is not about the movement from evil to good, nor is it about the movement from boring to fascinating.  It’s rather about the movement from ordinary to extraordinary.

My torah portion begins with the words, “go forth from your native land, and your kindred, and your fathers house, to the land that I will show you”. When I first read this verse, I thought it was only about a physical land, but, as I began to examine it more closely, I realized that this verse was leading me to a bigger idea. This section is not just about physical space, it is about the concept of emotional space.  An emotional space where you can feel God in yourself, similar to what I experienced at the wall this summer. I felt the presence of God within me. This process of learning how to open to this kind of emotional consciousness of space is what leads to having God’s name in you. This is what my torah portion is all about.

The third experience that I had this summer which helped me to understand my torah portion at a completely different level was actually the hardest for me. I had been working very hard on my bat mitzvah speech, it was pretty much finished. And then, my computer was stolen. And I had no other copies of my speech. I was devastated. Although I am still upset about all of the loss I experienced, I now understand, looking back, that another door opened, because that speech was written before the two experiences that made up this speech. In retrospect, it feels clear to me now, that I have been on a journey. And when one goes on a journey, they experience tests, and losses, and sometimes failures. Often times, great surprises, but most of all, one gets to learn what is in their heart.

I think I am now starting to learn that actually the journey never ends, and that there are always amazing times in store. I want all of you to know that it is possible to go on a journey and find God in your heart. If I could give a gift to all of you, it would be the capacity to see all of the extraordinary hearts in the faces of our lives. My dream is that when I see a face, I learn to see the person’s heart.