Growing Up Jewish in India

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by Doron Samuel

I grew up in the suburbs of Mumbai, India in Thane, about a 35-40 minute drive from the city of Mumbai. Several generations of my family have lived in Mumbai. My Dad grew up there and attended a Jewish school close to his home, while my mom grew up in a Baroda, a city in the state of Gujrat. My paternal grandpa also grew up in Mumbai, while my grandma was raised in Uganda.

When Jews first arrived in India they lived in several small villages, adopting surnames directly correlated to the name of their village, adding “kar” as a suffix. My family had the surname of “Talkar” but this changed over the generations and eventually we adopted the last name of my great granddad, “Samuel”.  Growing up, there were quite a few Jewish families in our neighborhood, but no Jewish schools, so the majority of Jewish students attended private schools. I attended an English-speaking school and English is my primary language. Our community is very close-knit. We learned about Jewish history, festivals and traditions through our families and by attending Sunday Jewish school at a nearby synagogue. Generations of my family celebrate the Jewish holidays including: Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Hanukkah and Tu BiShavat.

For Rosh Hashanah, we eat a number of foods symbolizing our prayers and hopes for a sweet new year, including: dates and pomegranates; black-eyed peas, leeks, beets, and gourds – all boiled with sugar added; head of lamb prepared with a ginger garlic paste and turmeric then boiled; as well as grilled pomfret (a fish) marinated in ginger garlic paste and grilled with red chilli powder and turmeric. At the Tu BiShvat Seder, celebrating the New Year of the Trees, we eat fruit of all kinds and recite a blessing for each fruit. We keep Passover for all 8 days and on the final day have a feast with our entire family. My mother prepares homemade matzo for the Passover hamotzi​ which is placed on our Seder plate.  My father oversees the grinding machine that grinds the wheat my mother will use to make the matzo, to be sure it is kosher for Pesach.  We keep three homemade matzos on the Seder tray. Each one represents our forefathers; Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. For the other days of Passover, we get round, Baghdadi-style matzo from the Magen David Synagogue in Mumbai which has prepared and provided matzo to local Jewish families, including the Samuels, for generations.

Rosh Hashanah Seder

Rosh Hashanah Seder at the Samuel home.

Samuel Family Seder Plate

The Samuel family Passover Seder plate. Rather than small portions of the six representative foods, Jews in India place several servings of each on the Seder plate. Three homemade matzo are placed on the plate representing the forefathers; Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Tu b'Shvat Table

Celebrating Tu biShvat

Over the years, some families in our neighborhood moved to Israel while others moved to the nearby city of Mumbai and its suburbs. So while there are more Jewish families in the city, there are fewer in the country overall. Today, there are fewer than 4,500 Jews in Mumbai with about 10 synagogues in and around Mumbai. The closest temple to my family is Shaar Hashamaim Synagogue in Thane. It is a 10-minute walk to temple for festivals and Friday night Shabbat services. During Simach Torah (marking the conclusion of the annual cycle of Torah readings and the beginning of a new cycle), we typically visit several synagogues, chiefly those which family members attended in the past. We may visit up to 5 synagogues that night, enjoying the Simach Torah festival and celebrating with members of our community. For Rosh Hashanah, we travel to Mumbai for Tashlik prayers where my family has been going for several generations.

Approximately 2,500 years ago, a handful of Jewish refugees survived a shipwreck off the coast off India and are said to be the original members of the Bene Israel. Though their Jewish holy books were lost in the wreck, their Jewish identity remained intact and was handed down through the years. Today, congregations of the area synagogues are big, and we always have a minyan for services during the week, Shabbos, and festivals.  We enjoy many of the typical Jewish rituals including Bar Mitzvahs. I had a Bar Mitzvah and it was very similar to Bar Mitzvahs held in the U.S. We read a Torah portion and we are typically provided Tefillin and Tzitzit by our grandparents. That same day or evening, or the following weekend, we have a large party and conduct the traditional candle lighting ceremony lighting 13 candles. Relatives are invited to light the first 12 and the 13th is lit with the immediate family. Jewish girls in India do have Bat Mitzvahs, as did my older sister, but I am not sure this happens in all families.

Doron Samuel Bar Mitzvah

Doron’s Bar Mitzvah ceremony. Left to right: Doron’s father, Jeffrey Samuel, Doron, and his grandfather, Shellim Samuel Talkar (of blessed memory).

Doron Samuel's Bar Mitzvah

Doron’s Bar Mitzvah candle lighting ceremony.

Growing up as a Jew in the Hindu majority of India wasn’t particularly difficult but when meeting new people and talking about religion, I typically had to explain how Jews came to live in India. It’s the same here in the U.S. when I explain to people that there are indeed Jews in India.

As Jews in India we assimilated over the centuries, embracing many facets of Indian culture. One particular challenge of being Jewish in India is keeping kosher. There aren’t any kosher certified restaurants in or around Mumbai, so when dining out, many people typically select a vegetarian restaurant or a restaurant whose kitchens have dedicated utensils for vegetarian and non-vegetarian foods. A friend’s dad slaughtered meat, so we would to get meat from him for Shabbos and festivals. As you may know, Indian cuisine involves a lot of spices and curry, so daily meals typically include: lentils, vegetables and pulses (dried seeds of legume plants) which are served with rice, roti (a flatbread made form wholemeal flour), or naan. For our weekly Shabbos meal we typically enjoy meat or chicken curry with rice and salad. On special occasions or holidays, we also have Biryani, a layered rice with curry and fried dry fruits. For Passover we create our own spice mixtures, keeping kosher restrictions in mind. And during Hanukkah, we have sweets everyday like others all around the world.

Following the rules of Shabbos can also be difficult. People in India work 5 ½ days per week, including Saturdays, making it difficult for Jews during Shabbos. In addition, many high schools and universities hold exams on Saturdays. You can request an alternate day, but it isn’t always allowed – at least not when I was in school. So, you had to take your exam on Saturday or risk failing the class. The work week has evolved over the years, with the majority of people working alternate Saturdays in place of every Saturday. This makes it a bit easier for us to keep the Sabbath.

One thing I love about being a Jew in India is how unique it makes me! I’ve had opportunities to meet Jews from around the world. I attended a camp in Hungary where I met Jews from Russia, Poland, Israel, Turkey, and the Czech Republic. I also met Jews from Canada and Australia when they visited India. Now that I am attending college in the U.S., I am meeting many Jewish people from communities in many different cities. Each one of us has their own way of keeping their traditions; reflective of the country and families in which we’ve been raised.

Throughout my travels, I’ve observed that every Jewish community has its own way of praying. A few follow tunes when praying while others keep it simple. I believe the Jews in India follow the Sephardic traditions as they don’t align with that I have been experiencing here in the U.S. which seem to be largely Ashkenazi traditions. For those not familiar, Jews in Mumbai and Gujrat are known as Bene Israeli Jews. The Jews in India believe strongly in Prophet Elijah and whenever we have a happy occasion or celebration, like Britmila (male circumcision ritual), we sing a song to praise him. We then serve a dish of flat rice with sugar, ground coconut and several dried fruits.

Marriage ceremonies for Jews in India are quite interesting as we’ve adopted a few traditions from the Indian culture. We have a henna day where both bride and the groom have an intricate pattern of henna drawn on their index fingers. The bride also has henna designs covering her hands and arms up to the elbows. Both of them wear traditional Indian dress, Saris or Chaniya Choli. The wedding ceremony typically takes place at a synagogue rather than having a chuppah on a terrace or lawn which is done frequently in Israel and the U.S.

The wedding of Gilon and Navit Samuel in Israel. Pictured left to right: Doron Samuel, Gilon Samuel, Navit Samuel and Osrah Samuel.

As with other Jewish communities worldwide, the Jewish community in India strongly believes in giving back. Hoping to pass on this tradition, my sister and I taught at the Sunday Jewish school for kids ages 5-12 years. I was also involved in planning several sessions on Judaism for several youth camps (ages 18-27). I was also a member of the JCC in Mumbai and was president of the youth wing for a year, introducing several events which have become quite popular over the years.

Doron Samuel at Sunday school

Giving Back. Doron and his sister, Osrah Samuel, taught the younger generations at the local Jewish Sunday school.

I’ve found the Jewish community here in the U.S. very welcoming and I am spending the summer in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood while continuing my education. I’ve been invited to and enjoyed many Shabbos meals with a number of families and friends. Corned beef and cholent are a couple of my new favorites! At home, I usually cook Indian cuisine but am always asking for recipes from the families and friends I’ve met along with way.

After moving to U.S., it was difficult for many to believe that I was Jewish and from India. There were many questions – several of which I hope I’ve answered here! I hope I’ve helped you and others around the world get to know the Jews from India.

Doron is currently pursuing a Masters of Computer Science with a specialization in Cybersecurity at Pace University in New York. His parents still reside in Mumbai, India.

Why Do We Delay Our Dreams?

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Why do we delay our dreams? What dream would you like to realize today?

When I was 15 years old, I won a scholarship (paid by Mazda Motor Corporation) to live in Kyoto, Japan as an exchange student. That summer I fell in love with Japan — the people, the culture, the food, and the language. In particular, I became obsessed with Japanese Zen Rock gardens. I visited more than 25 Japanese temples and gardens that summer. My favorite Temple was Ryoanji. Ryoanji was built in the 1400s during the Onin War. Despite the chaos in the surrounding area, Ryoanji was an oasis of calm and serenity. The hallmark of Ryoanji is the Zen rock garden which is about 2,600 square feet (80 feet by 30 feet) and has raked sand with 15 stones placed throughout the area. When you sit at the garden, no matter what angle you look from, you can only see 14 stones — one is always hidden from view. The Zen concept is that it is hidden and found inside your heart. It enables you to connect your inner spirit with your physical surroundings.

Ryoanji has captivated me since I was 15. I have always wanted a Japanese Zen rock garden. Always. I thought of it often. In January, I turned 50. Two weeks ago, I finally realized my dream and built my own Japanese Zen rock garden.  It really didn’t take much — not much effort, not much money, and not much time.  It is a small space and didn’t take much work. The materials were not costly and the maintenance is very easy — no need to clean or water.

I am so happy! I finally have my own Japanese Zen rock garden!  I am now asking myself — why did I take so long to realize my lifelong dream of having my own Japanese Zen rock garden? Why did I defer my dream?

I looked to the Torah to explore the idea of asking for something in a dream. In 1 Kings 3, King Solomon has a dream.

5 At Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”

6 Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.

7 “Now, Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a listening heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”

10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. 11 So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, 12 I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be.13 Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both wealth and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. 14 And if you walk in obedience to me and keep my decrees and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life.”15 Then Solomon awoke—and he realized it had been a dream.

King Solomon asked for a listening heart. King Solomon did not ask for riches or power or honor. He asked for something more simple. Something that would help him connect with himself and with his community. King Solomon’s listening heart allowed him to help communicate more fully with his community.

When I thought about the idea of a Japanese Zen garden and the search for the hidden 15th stone of Ryoanji, I realized it was directly connected to Solomon’s dream of receiving a listening heart. The purpose of a Japanese Zen rock garden is to provide a space for tranquility and inner calm. Staring at the raked sand and simple stones help heal our heart and soothe our minds. We can truly connect with others and ourselves when we have a listening heart. Achieving a state of inner peace and contemplation can enable each of us to be more aware of ourselves and our surroundings.

What is your life long dream? Why defer it? Why not take today to realize it? Incorporating King Solomon’s listening heart may allow you to more fully connect with yourself, your loved ones, and your environment. I hope you can also realize your proverbial garden dream.

Further reading:

I am overjoyed to have made an exciting and deeply meaningful addition to my Japanese Zen rock garden: a zenibachi. Tsukubai are stone water basins that are used in purification rituals and tea ceremonies. The zenibachi is a famous tsukubai located at the Ryoanji Temple in Kyoto.

I first went to the Ryoanji temple in 1984. Below is a picture of me at the Ryoanji in 2007.
Now here is a picture of me with my own personal zenibachi in 2021.

The zenibachi is shaped like an ancient Chinese coin. The round shape represents the Earth and the square cut into the center represents the heavens. There are four characters carved into it with the following meanings:

Together they translate to “I only know plenty”, a quote with a myriad of meanings and inspirations. I interpret it to mean “I am content with what I have”, a spiritual parallel to the Hebrew Dayenu: “It would have been enough.” I am filled with joy each time I see this unique and meaningful structure. You can learn more about the zenibachi here.

Have You Ever Received a Message from a Loved One Who Passed Away? …………… How Did It Make You Feel? Do You Believe in Afterlife?

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Have you ever received a message from a loved one who has passed away? What was the message? How did it make you feel?

If we can have light without light, why can’t we have life without life?

Before my mom passed away, I never considered the idea of an afterlife. I was always purely focused on life — now and as we are. Since my mom passed away, I have become more open to the idea of an afterlife.

In writing this blog, I am aware that some may object to the idea of discussing an afterlife. I apologize in advance for any potential offense. This blog is my personal opinion and intended to help provide peace and meaning to those who have lost a loved one and are open to a continued connection.

After my mom passed away, I began receiving messages from her. The first message was the last day of Shiva (Jewish mourning ritual) when I finished my walk around the block and returned to my office for the first time since her passing. When leaving the office that day, Friday, November 13, 2015, I saw the following image on TV, “Is Myra a good start?”. I was stunned and happy and smiled, (my mom’s name is forever Myra). I called my two brothers and amazingly we had all seen the same image on TV — at the same time!

I was really struck by this message. For the first time, I actually thought about Heaven. I really wondered what happened to my mom after she died. I realized that maybe her soul left her physical body. When I thought about my mom’s soul and the meaning of the message on the TV, I truly believe that my mom was telling my brothers and me that she was off to a “good start”. I began to imagine my mom on her way to Heaven. And, for the first time since she passed away — I smiled.

When reflecting upon my mom’s soul’s journey to Heaven, I remembered my eulogy for my mom when I quoted 2 Kings 2.

Elijah is about to die and go to Heaven. He asks Elisha if there is anything that he can give him. Elisha asks for a double portion of Elijah’s spirit. In my eulogy for my mom, I also asked for a double portion of her spirit.

1And it came to pass, when the LORD would take up Elijah by a whirlwind into Heaven, that Elijah went with Elisha from Gilgal.

9And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha: ‘Ask what I shall do for thee, before I am taken from thee.’ And Elisha said: ‘I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me.’

Six months after my mom’s passing and after my first Passover without my mom, I had a transformative trip to Israel. During this trip, I received many messages and signs from my mom. I truly felt my mom’s communications and presence. It made me so happy and mollified my sadness at her loss. When I thought of these messages, I imagined that the holy and powerful nature of being in Israel is what brought about these connections with my mom. I really didn’t consider or imagine that my mom’s messages would continue.

Now over a year later, I continue to receive these messages. (I’ve included several more examples at the end of this blog).

When reflecting on these examples, I thought more about 2 Kings 2. I really contemplated Elijah’s going to Heaven in a whirlwind. Then I thought about my mom’s journey to Heaven. I realized that I did receive a double portion of my mom’s spirit. My mom and her spirit can exist in Heaven and with me and my brothers and grandchildren in our hearts.

When good things happen in my life, I think of the Talmud quote “Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers ‘Grow, grow.’” I can just picture my mom in Heaven with angels saying, “How can we help Andy grow today?”

This prompted me to want to understand how could there be an afterlife. Could there be life without life? I immediately thought of Creation in Genesis.

3 Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. 4 And God saw the light, that it wasgood; and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. [b]So the evening and the morning were the first day.

14 Then God said, “Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years; 15 and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. 16 Then God made two great [d]lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also. 17 God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth, 18 and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 So the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

God created light on the first day and called it good. However it wasn’t until the fourth day that God created the light of day and darkness of night with the sun, moon, and stars. So if sunlight was not created until the fourth day, what was the light of the first day? How could we have light without light?

I have learned that the day one light is that of goodness. Goodness needs no physical delineation. We simply know goodness.

I find a physical experience of this “light without light” concept when turning off a light bulb. Although the lightbulb is off, I can still see the light residue on my retina. I can still see the light in the dark.

When I pondered the idea of an inanimate object exuding energy after it is off to the afterlife, I realize the connection. If a lightbulb can generate light after it is turned off, why can’t a human body which has been on the planet 20, 40, 60, 80 years and made emotional connections with others generate life through our spirit after we are “turned off”?

I believe that if you have an open heart and a receptive mind, you may find messages from loved ones who passed away. If you come across a message, it may provide a beautiful moment to connect with a memory. Of course, if you are not open to making a connection, you will simply have the moment pass without a trace. However, if you are open and receptive, regardless of whether or not it is actually a connection with your loved one’s spirit, the feelings of connection with your loved one is real.

Additional Reading:

2 Kings 2 New JPS Tanakh 1917

Genesis 1:1

Additional Myra Connections

Myra License Plate:
On March 21, 2016, I informed my younger brother, Alex, that we reached an agreement to sell my mother’s house. While talking to Alex , I noticed the license plate of the car in front of me. At first glance, it appeared to say “Myra.”

Myra License Plate

Coincidentally, it was the 35th anniversary of my bar mitzvah. The significance of the anniversary, a time celebrating my spirituality with family and opening the door to a new chapter in my life, was a meaningful connection. Selling the house, closing one chapter of my life and opening a door to the next, made the license plate particularly meaningful, connecting to my mom…. I felt my mom was presiding over that day.

Nana Sign Iceland (July 2016):
On July 11, 2016, I had a business meeting in Reykjavik, Iceland. July 11 is my mom’s birthday. July 11, 2016 was my mom’s first birthday since she passed away on November 2, 2015. Please note the address of where I was to meet my business associate.

Myra Iceland

 

Nana Appeared in Business Meeting Materials (October 25, 2017):
I was attending a Board meeting for one of my portfolio companies based in India. It is in the customer service industry. Most of its customers are in India. I was so surprised to see that one of the customers they used as an example was named Myra! I smiled serenely.

Myra Assistant

 

The Nana Tattoo (December 8, 2017):
Relaxing by a pool in Miami, I ended up in a deep philosophical conversation with two guys from London, Steffan and Paul. After about an hour, Steffan stood up and removed his shirt to jump in the pool. I was simply stunned. He had a tattoo — which said “Nana”! I asked him why? Steffan was from Ghana and he explained that in Ghanaian, Nana means queen or king I simply smiled. I felt my mom’s presence…

 

Nana’s Spinach Salad (April 6, 2018):
After a business meeting, I was looking for a quick lunch in Sacramento. My colleague and I wandered into the Foundation restaurant on L street. We sat down and perused the menu. It was immediately apparent what I would order for lunch. I stopped and smiled – “Nana’s Spinach Salad”. “Thank you mom. Hi mom. I know that you are in better place,” I thought to myself… My smile got wider and wider.

Nana's Spinach Salad

 

Myra Next to Me (June 2, 2018):
I was attending a concert for a work event. It was a very big night because one of my companies was launching a new product. I was excited and nervous. About fifteen minutes before the show began two women found their seats next to me. We had a brief exchange about the upcoming concert. Imagine my pleasant surprise when the woman next to me introduced herself, “Hi! Nice to meet you, my name is Myra”. I sat stunned and began to cry… I felt my mom’s hug and warmth on such a momentous night.

Tokyo Hana
Tokyo (March 2019)
I have been going to the same restaurant in Tokyo for over 32 years. In March, 2019, I had an important business dinner. When I arrived early for my dinner, I noticed the flower store across the street had recently changed its name to “Nana”. “Hana” means flower in Japanese so interpreted my mom telling me to stop and smell the flowers.

Nana Flower Shop

 

Text (April 2019)
We have a business customer. At a recent meeting, my team texted me about the new account person who joined our team. The new account person’s name was Nana!

Text

 

 

Nana’s Treasures
Western Mass Jewelry Store (June 2019)
I have visited the same town in western mass for over 20 years. On my drive, I passed the same jewelry / antique store for each time. This past June, 2019, I drove by the same store and noticed it had changed the name to “Nana’s treasures” I stopped in to inquire. The owner told me that she just changed the sign a few weeks before to honor her grandmother.

Jewelry Store

 

Nana sent you a blessing
Playing a mobile app (July 2019)
When I was playing a fun mobile app, a message popped up “Nana sent you a blessing” I was stunned! I asked my friends if anyone had used the name “nana” for their game “username” . A business colleague from Japan who was visiting said “yes. My childhood nickname was Nana” so I selected it as a player name.

 Nana joined our team!

Nana Blessing

 

Birthday Greetings (July 2019)
On July 11, 2019, which would have been my mom’s 77th birthday, I saw this license plate in front of me. Mrs G – Mrs Goldfarb!

Mrs. G License plate

 

My daughter’s Uber driver (November 2, 2019)
The 4-year anniversary of my Mom’s passing.
Uber Driver

Pelicans in my life! (February 2020)
My mom’s nickname for me was “pelican”. In 1985, my mom said that my middle initial “P” was not only for Philip but also for “Pelican”. My mom said I was like a pelican because the pelican is the only bird that can bite off more than it can chew, and handle it! In 1999, my mom gave me a steuben glass pelican, which I still treasure. I keep it on my desk.
This week I had two important business events. First, for Photo Butler, we were transporting equipment to Miami for a customer, and our team packed the equipment in a Pelican storage case!  Then, at a Breaking Matzo photo shoot for Purim, the photographer brought his equipment in a Pelican traveling case! Both unbeknownst to me, and both this week!
Pelican Case Pelican case
The Sign From Pelicans From Professor Leshem (November 12th, 2020)
My mother met Professor Yossi Leshem a number of years ago as part of a bird watching and preservation conference in Israel. She wrote an incredibly moving article on the experience that you can read about here. Yossi Leshem spoke at my mom’s memorial service in NYC in November 2016.

 

On November 12th, 2020 I was delightfully surprised to receive the following email and videos from Professor Yossi Leshem regarding pelicans:

Dear Friends,

Since the draining of the Hula Valley in the 1950’s, the draining  of coastal swamps during the previous century, and the drying out of water sources along the pelican migration route in Turkey, Syria and Lebanon, Pelicans are fed in Israel reservoirs, in the Mediterranean lowlands.

They are fed with fish purchased by the Nature and Parks Authority and the Ministry of Agriculture. about 200 tons of fish every fall for the 50,000 migratory pelicans.

Once they feed, the Pelicans can continue to migrate to the swamps in south Sudan.

I am sending a presentation of a feeding in Bahan Reservoir:  https://bit.ly/2ItIK6A

In addition, a number of videos, so that you will can enjoy the impressive feeding:

  1. https://bit.ly/36iwVIb
  2. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VCy_Kf7Otpw
  3. https://youtu.be/jVSMKMY20R0

Best regards, Keep safe,

Yossi Leshem

Pelicans
Myra at Hasty Pudding (March 5, 2020):
At the opening of the Hasty Pudding Theatricals 173 show, I attended with my daughter Lucy (who is Producer) and was surprised and delighted that the main character’s name was “Myra” enclosed is a video clip of the show. Given my mom’s love of the theatre and sharing the same name – Myra, I was also overwhelmed that the personality of the character was so similar to my mom as well. Myra (the character) and Myra (my mom) was dramatic, flamboyant, enthusiastic, and full of spice and energy. It was a truly fabulous night at the Theatre!
Myra License Plate (November, 2020):

Around the 5 year anniversary of my mom’s passing, my daughter Lucy sent me this photo of a license plate that she saw while driving.

Myra Plate

Happy Birthday Mom:
I’m publishing this today, July 11, 2018 on what would be my mom’s 76th birthday. This photo was taken on July 6, 2013. Mom, thank you for helping me become open to so many new possibilities.

 

Have You Ever Had a Love Affair with…a Tree?

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In thinking about Tu b’Shvat, an ancient celebration of the new year for trees, I reflected on my personal connection with trees and nature.

I realized that I have a love affair with a tree. While we commonly speak about loving another person or an animal, we don’t generally discuss falling in love with a specific tree.

For some context, Tu b’Shvat is dedicated to the love of trees and the natural world. By the start of the 20th century, the Jewish National Fund helped invigorate the celebration of Tu b’Shvat by making it a national tree-planting day. Today, Jews around the world commonly plant trees to mark a birth, a bar/bat mitzvah or wedding, as well to remember someone who has passed away. As the idea of Tu b’Shvat as a tree-planting holiday gained in popularity during the second half of the 20th century, the holiday became more celebrated as a nature holiday. Environmentalists have become more connected with Tu b’Shvat to celebrate our place within and responsibility for God’s creation. Many people now consider Tu b’Shvat a kind Jewish “Arbor Day,” a day on which to reconnect to the earth and renew our connection to it.

During a recent Torah study session about Tu b’Shvat, I reflected on a tree that I have fallen in love with. For the past 20 years, I have made an annual trip to The Ashram, a hiking/yoga retreat near Malibu, California. During the week, I hike about 80 miles over 7 days and eat a solely vegan diet. On the very long Thursday hike, there is a section involving a hike down the valley and a switch back that leads up a steep section out of the valley. At the U-turn is a beautiful tree standing at the edge of the trail. The U-turn gracefully accommodates its positioning. For some reason, I began to stop and hug this tree. It is very tall with a fork in the main branches. Its branches stretch to the side rewarded with more sunlight. After 13 miles of hiking, I pause and hug the tree, reflecting on the various worries and life challenges with which I have struggled. It is powerful for me to hug the tree each year and realize that those life concerns I worried about in previous years have all resolved themselves. I don’t have a photo of the tree, nor do I think of it often. However, since I recently hugged this tree on my latest trip to the Ashram and just studied about Tu b’Shvat, I became more reflective of my love for this particular tree.  While my life has changed considerably over the years, this tree has remained constant. Each year, I have shared my internal concerns with the tree, and felt safe opening my heart in its presence. The tree has become a mirror on my life; a mirror that reflects without judgement. The tree is truly grounded, physically and metaphorically. I approach the tree after 13 miles of strenuous hiking and hours of reflection and solitude. My mental state is free of external stimulation as I hike in the wilderness. My soul is open and unencumbered. As a result, I can connect with my favorite tree in this contemplative state. While I often find my thoughts wandering before approaching the tree, simply hugging it helps me feel grounded and aligned as I continue on my journey along the path and through life.

I encourage everyone to find a way to connect with nature and find some time to reflect. Doing so allows to see ourselves anew, to think deeply about the meaning of our lives and our place within creation. More than being generally connected to nature, can we each find time to connect with one specific tree or another grounding object in nature? Can you remember a childhood memory climbing a particular tree or spending time with a friend under a favorite tree?

In Genesis, Adam and Eve begin their lives in the Garden of Eden. There, they sought to connect with the Trees of Life and of Knowledge. While their stay in Eden was short-lived, I believe we can each recover something of this primal human experience in our own gardens, forests, valleys and mountaintops.

Connecting Cultures through the Common Language of Food in Jerusalem

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How have you connected across cultures through food? What new discoveries did you find?

On my recent trip to Jerusalem, I explored a wide range of cuisines and recipes. While my initial goal was finding new recipes for Breaking Matzo, I ended up finding new friendships and fun.

During my two days in Jerusalem, I visited over 15-20 restaurants and food shops. I explored the following: Iraqi, Kurdish, Lebanese, Libyan, Moroccan, Palestinian, Russian, and Turkish cuisines! Each restaurant proprietor welcomed me enthusiastically into their kitchens and introduced me to their food secrets. It was so much fun. My guide explained I was the founder of Breaking Matzo and that was the magic key to opening the gates to their food kingdom.

Given the diverse range of cultures, flavors and languages, I was pleasantly surprised at how easily we all connected and communicated when speaking the common language of food. Breaking Matzo is committed to highlighting people of different flavors sharing a common purpose.

In reflecting on how easily food can bridge cultural divide, I thought about the Story of the Tower of Babel in Genesis.

People attempted to build a tower to reach the heavens. In some ways, mankind used its collective power to disregard the sanctity of God and reach the heavens on their own. As a result, God divided mankind into 70 Groups, each with its own language.

Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.
— Genesis 11:1–9

In some ways, I believe that celebrating food cultures from around the world is actually uniting us all. Each of the recipes I explored were examples of each culture’s attempt to connect with holidays through unique flavors. Each dish helps children and adults remember holiday celebrations. I loved the smile and joy that each chef had in describing their recipes.

I hope Breaking Matzo continues to unite us all in our quest for culinary connection and holiday harmony.  Food is our common language, connecting human hearts and uniting our beautiful planet.

Special thanks to Andy’s guides, Ami Giz and Ruthie Genah Gutman.

Ordinary to Extraordinary Lives: Judith Leiber

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Judith Leiber, famed handbag designer, passed away on April 30, 2018 at the age of 97. She was born in Budapest, Hungary in 1921. Before WWII, she became a trainee at a Hungary handbag company where she was the first woman to become a master craftswoman and join the Hungarian Handbag Guild.

She escaped the Holocaust when her father obtained a Swiss schutzpass for her. This was a certificate providing the bearer with safe passage to Switzerland. Once there, she lived in an apartment with 25 others. They were later all  taken to a Nazi-run ghetto. She was freed by the Red Army during the Hungarian Liberation.

In 1946, she married Gerson Leiber, a sergeant in the U. S. army who was also an abstract expressionist painter.  At the time, she was making purses for the secretaries of the American Legation in Budapest. The couple moved to New York City in 1947. After spending years working for other handbag designers, she established her own business in 1963.  Her unique creations became status symbols and graced the arms of many, many celebrities and several First Ladies. In 1994, she was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Council of Fashion Designers. Today, her work is on display at the Smithsonian, the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Victoria and Albert Museum.  

For more information, about this extraordinary woman, click here.

Saved by A Stranger at Coachella

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When was the last time you received help from a stranger? How were you saved by the stranger?

I recently attended Coachella and chaperoned my daughter and her friends. During one concert, I overhead a woman explaining to her friend that she had lost her phone and was so lucky to find it in the massive crowd. “My phone was saved by strangers at the ferris wheel,” I heard her say.

Holly was visiting Coachella from San Francisco with her friend Betsy who flew in from Australia. Holly had asked some girls to take a photo of her and Betsy in front of the iconic Coachella ferris wheel. Later in the afternoon, Holly reached into her purse for her phone and discovered it was missing. Holly didn’t panic. But she realized that she had lost her phone at Coachella amidst the 125,000 fans in attendance. She spent the next few hours alternating between enjoying the amazing music and occasionally thinking about what she lost on her phone and how she would replace her phone when she returned to San Francisco. “Three days of enforced meditation and solitude” she thought to herself.

Meanwhile, earlier in the afternoon the girls who took the photo of Holly and Betsy at the ferris wheel were surprised to find a phone on the ground. When they picked it up and opened it (there was no passcode — more on this later) they were shocked to see the photo of the girls that they had taken a photo of earlier.

While Holly was connecting with the music and people at Coachella without her phone, the girls attempted to connect with Holly’s friends/family by dialing recent numbers on Holly’s phone. As Holly later learned, the girls talked to many of her friends and had warm conversations about how they knew Holly. The girls’ plea was simple; “We found this phone at Coachella and are trying to find Holly’s friend so we can return it to her.” After many calls, they finally reached Betsy and made the connection! “Are you here at Coachella? Are you with Holly? Did we take your photo by the ferris wheel?” Betsy confirmed she was indeed with Holly. Holly was so relieved to hear the news and both ran to the ferris wheel to meet the girls. When Holly was reunited with her phone, she looked to the sky above the ferris wheel and said to herself “Trust the universe.”

I ended up talking with Holly after overhearing the story. One nuance really peaked my curiosity. “Holly, why did you not have a passcode on your phone?” Holly explained that she always has a passcode. However, that morning, she happened to remove her passcode to leave the phone unlocked for a friend at her house to access her phone. “I completely forgot to turn the passcode lock back on before I came to Coachella” Holly said with surprise.

I reflected and asked Holly. “If you had known you would lose your phone at Coachella today, would taking off the passcode have been a good or bad idea?” Obviously in a general sense, we are guarded in society and would always say to leave your phone locked. However, today, it was solely because Holly left her phone unlocked that the girls (who were complete strangers) were able to access her phone and connect with her friends to find Betsy and then reunite Holly and her phone.

As I reflected on this story of being saved by a stranger and becoming vulnerable by unlocking one’s passcode to allow access to inner secrets, I thought of Genesis 37 when Joseph was also saved by a stranger.

Joseph was the favorite son of Jacob/Israel. Joseph’s brother came to have tremendous envy and hatred of him. In Genesis 37, Jacob/Israel asks Joseph to go and look for his brothers. On the way, Joseph got lost in Shechem. There he happened to run into a stranger. This stranger asked Joseph, “What are you looking for?” (Joseph) answered, “I am looking for my brothers. Could you tell me where they are pastoring?” The (stranger) said “they have gone from here, for I heard them say “let us go to Dothan” so Joseph followed his brothers and found them at Dothan.”

Both Holly and Joseph were saved by a stranger. Interestingly, Joseph also unlocked his heart by sharing that he was “looking for my brothers”. In spite of the fact his brothers “hated him so that they could not speak a friendly word to him”, Joseph was still open and vulnerable to seeking them. Holly unlocked the passcode of her iPhone which enabled strangers to connect with her friends/family inside the phone and reunite her with her phone. Holly and Joseph both ultimately found what they were looking for. Their journeys were possible because they placed their trust in strangers and allowed themselves to be vulnerable by unlocking their inner passcode. Sometimes you can become stronger by allowing yourself to be more vulnerable.

One of my earliest memories of my Mom was when I was 5-6 years old and we were driving down Hamilton Boulevard (a very busy street in Allentown Pennsylvania) in the middle of January. It was freezing cold and very windy. Suddenly, my mom stopped the car in the middle of the traffic. She got out, ran across the street and continued down the block to catch a hat that was blowing in the wind. She then ran the hat back to a bald, elderly gentleman. My mom had seen his hat blow off. She got back in the car and we drove home. I will never forget this simple act of kindness for a stranger.

More Information on Coachella

What Do You Stand For?

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This is the first blog written by Andy’s daughter Caroline (age 21) for Breaking Matzo

On January 19th, Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman told Larry Nassar, former USA Gymnastics national team doctor, that “the tables have turned,” and she and her “army of survivors” were “not going anywhere.” She detailed her experiences with Nassar, her path to finding hope and strength in the wake of the abuse, and her hopes for improvement in USA Gymnastics. Raisman was speaking in court, testifying in the case that put Nassar in jail for sexually and physically abusing countless young gymnasts throughout his career. Raisman was one of many brave and strong women who spoke out about Nassar’s evil behavior, and in doing so, inspired the nation.

This is only one part of Raisman’s incredible journey – from ordinary to extraordinary. Raisman grew up in Needham, Massachusetts and began doing gymnastics at the young age of two. Like many other girls her age, she was in awe of the US’s “Magnificent Seven,” the group of young women who won gold medals in gymnastics at the 1996 Summer Olympics. After that, Raisman began to work harder than ever to master the sport, taking part in many national and international competitions before finally landing a spot on the 2012 team for the London Summer Olympics. In London, Raisman’s lifetime of work paid off as she became the first American woman to win a gold medal in the gymnastics event, floor. But that wasn’t the only thing that made this routine special. Raisman’s floor routine was set to the ““Hava Nagila,” a popular Jewish song traditionally sung at celebrations like weddings and Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. With this performance, Raisman not only became one of the most extraordinary American gymnasts of all time, but she did so while celebrating her Jewish heritage. The next year, in 2013, Raisman lit the inaugural flame of the Maccabiah Games, the Jewish Olympics. In 2016, Raisman helped the US team win another gold medal, and became the second most decorated American Olympic gymnast in history.

Since the Olympics, Raisman has been making an impact in other ways. She is a brand ambassador for UNICEF, speaks about body positivity and confidence through her part in American Eagle and Sports Illustrated campaigns, and has encouraged girls to pursue their athletic dreams through her work with Playtex Sport.

Aly Raisman is an important role model for children and adults, for young women and men, and for Jews and non-Jews alike. Through her gymnastics career, she has demonstrated the value of perseverance and shown young girls to never give up on their dreams. With her gold-medal-winning floor routine, Raisman chose to highlight Judaism and its importance to her life, bringing Jewish culture to the forefront of the international stage. And now, with her awe-inspiring testimony against Nassar, Aly Raisman has shown her extraordinary strength in overcoming her fears and facing her former abuser in order to seek justice for herself, the many others who survived Nassar’s abuse, and countless gymnasts to follow. Aly Raisman has taught us to never let our fears of being ordinary stop us from becoming extraordinary. Thank you, Aly.

How Do You Keep Your Seder Traditions Alive?

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This article was written by Andy’s mother, Myra Yellin Outwater (of blessed memory) and published in The Morning Call, April 21, 1997.

Passover’s Traditions Provide Present with a Link to the Past

Recently, we read that the last days of the Heaven’s Gate cult were spent eating fast food. However, McDonald’s doesn’t nourish the soul. Chicken soup and chopped liver do.

For years, my memories of the Jewish holiday meals have been filled with the comfort foods of tradition. And as I set the table once more for Passover and cook my chicken soup, I know that while the Passover Seder may be high in cholesterol, it’s also high on love.

To me, the lesson of Heaven’s Gate is that too many people think that they can establish their own sense of order with few connections to the past. But sadly, not many have found an “order” as satisfying or as nourishing as that of tradition. As I gather the Passover Haggadahs (prayer books), I think a lot about the fact that “seder” means order, and each year at Passover we conduct ourselves the same way, according to tradition.

Seders have helped keep the fabric of Jewish society together for thousands of years. At the Seder, we talk of service to others and service to God rather than self-service. In the center of the table in every Jewish home are the symbols of the Passover story, the flight of the Jews from Egyptian bondage. There is a lamb shank, an egg, the bitter herbs, the sweet mixture of charoseth, the salt water, a green vegetable, the goblet of wine for the prophet Elijah and three matzah. And each year, we open the Haggadah and tell the same Passover story, say the same prayers, sing the same songs and serve the same menu.

And, despite the zeal of food editors to promote nouvelle Passover cuisines, most families stick to the old standbys — chicken soup, matzah balls, chopped liver, roasted chicken, matzah, flourless sponge cakes and macaroons. Matzah balls and chicken soup are the glue that have held families together for generations.

Each year, we ask the same four questions. Tonight my youngest son will be the one to ask: “Why is this night different from all other nights?”

My first memories of Seder are of me standing up, petrified, reciting the same questions. In those days, my father had the answers. Tonight I do.

There is no equivocation at the Seder. Giving the answers is part of the order of things, and at the Seder, if you don’t answer the questions, you don’t eat. And, each year we read about four sons. The one who is wise, the one who is contrary, the one who is simple and the one who does not even know how to ask a question. And, each year we read that the worst sin is not knowing how to ask.

We live in a society that is afraid of answers, afraid to search for painful truths. But truth and honesty are like the Passover bitter herbs and charoseth, sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet. It is not easy to make a commitment to traditional values. But it is part of the order of things.

But while the Seder is a holiday feast, it is also the holiday that recalls that time in history when we got the gift of the Ten Commandments. How sad it is that to many today, these laws have become irrelevant. How sad that even judges must remove them from public courtrooms; and that children no longer honor their parents; and that people kill, murder, steal, covet, commit adultery; and that too often, God becomes a swear word rather than a prayer.

My father hated a lie. He would have felt uncomfortable in today’s society where there are so many varieties, so many while lies, half-lies, safe lies and evasions.

Passover is also a time for families, and when it falls during the week, as it does this year, it is a time off during a work week to celebrate love.

This year, while the order of the service and the order of the mean remain the same, the faces at my table will be different. My mother has disappeared into her own past, a resident of a local nursing home. And my aunt is now the one to tell the old stories and be our memory. More than 70 years ago at the moment in the Seder service when the door is symbolically opened to welcome the prophet Elijah, my grandmother found a stranger standing at the door. Undaunted, she offered him food, but all he wanted was directions. And through the years, the telling of his visit has become a special part of our holiday service.

My own special Passover memories are of my three sons competing with each other to each the most “maror” or bitter herbs. At Passover, we eat bitter herbs to remember the pain and tears of slavery and oppression, and charoseth, a combination of chopped apples, nuts and sweet wine, to recall the joys of freedom. When my sons were younger, they thought it was macho to be able to handle the horseradish. Today the two oldest are parents themselves and will soon sample their own blend of charoseth and maror, the joys and tears of parenthood.

Why is this night different from all other nights?

Because on this night we try to learn from the past and at the end of the Seder when we search for the Afikomen, the missing piece of matzah, in order to conclude the service, that search becomes just one more link with history and an orderly transference of tradition from one generation to another.