Savoring the Moment 3/30/20

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This weekend, I reflected on the extra time that this period provides many of us to connect with family more than usual.

How do we experience the time together?

Saturday evening, I had a really beautiful connecting dinner with my daughter, Lucy.  She has been visiting me for dinner every 2-3 days or so.  We had such a fun dinner and talk.  She wanted to speak to me solely in Japanese to practice (Lucy is a Japanese major at Harvard).

Our dinner reminded me of a dinner that I had with Lucy in 2017 when I had just left my Bed Rest and really experienced the precious moment of time fully.

I wrote a blog about savoring the moment – whether a bite of food or just a few precious moments with a loved one. You can find it here.

I hope that you will find blessings in a moment with your loved ones (whether in person or virtually) during this Covid19 period.

Regards,

Andy

How to Have the Bar Mitzvah You Want

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In August of 2017 I was asked to share my thoughts on Breaking Matzo and throwing a magical, meaningful and memorable bar/bat mitzvah. Here is what I had to say:

Jewish home holidays have been an incredible passion of mine. I loved Passover. I loved Sukkot. With my family, we actively celebrated the holidays, and we cooked all the time. Breaking Matzo started with my children: At Passover, I would write a custom Haggadah every year.

Now with the site expanding to offer bar and bat mitzvah insights, I hope to make these rites of passage magical, meaningful and memorable, not morose, morbid or maddening.

If you’re overwhelmed with planning, costs, interpersonal woes, family dynamics or squabbling with your child over visions for the event, remember, it:

  • should stimulate the mind
  • touch the heart
  • uplift the soul.

The most important thing is to make sure it’s personally significant. I had an extravagant bar mitzvah, but unusual. My parents moved our cars out of our two-car garage, swept it and decorated it. The kids’ party was downstairs in the basement. My uncle, who was a rabbi in Israel, made freshly baked challah. It was sweet and simple.

So, how can you have a bar or bat mitzvah that’s significant, not stressful?

Step one: Stimulate the mind. This involves understanding the history of the bar or bat mitzvah.

Step two: Touch the heart. The heart is the Torah. Connect with text that has been around for thousands of years, but make it meaningful to you. Find something in your heart that connects with the words on the page. If you can do that, you teach the congregation

Step three, and perhaps the most important: Uplift the soul. Remember, this is about your child’s journey, not yours, he says.

Many parents interfere too much and are too heavy-handed. It’s about the kid. Remember what matters the most. Parents might think it’s their social event and overlook the interest of the kid. Ask, ‘What’s good for my child? How can I help them go from being a Jewish child to a Jewish young adult?’

If you’re still overwhelmed with logistical woes or wondering whether Aunt Debby will cause a scene on the dance floor because the event wasn’t to her liking, take a pause.

Close your eyes, go to a quiet place and try to imagine the feeling that you would like your son or daughter to have at the end of the day. The bar or bat mitzvah is about the beauty of unique expression. If your kid wants to do something unique, you should be so proud that he or she wants to do something meaningful. You don’t want them to just follow the course.

You can read the full article of my interview here.

 

Resources for Throwing a Virtual Bar/Bat Mitzvah

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How do you have a bar/bat mitzvah when you’re not supposed to leave the house?

A bar/bat mitzvah is a magical, meaningful, and memorable moment in a young Jew’s life. Beyond that, the entire family and community get to celebrate this traditional coming of age rite. Unfortunately, sometimes circumstance prevents us from gathering to celebrate this once in a lifetime occasion. Here are some resources that can help you and your family navigate this important milestone during times when you can’t all be together.

I have compiled my own thoughts on how to have a simple and sweet bar/bat mitzvah during a quarantine or similar event. The key to a great bar/bat mitzvah is that it stimulates the mind, touches the heart with the Torah, and uplifts the soul. You can read more about how to do so here.

Kveller has made a step-by-step how-to guide for throwing a virtual bar or bat mitzvah party. It walks you through technology suggestions, who to invite, music choices, how to incorporate rituals and more. You can find their guide here.

A 13-year-old in Manhattan had one of the first virtual bar mitzvahs. He was able to borrow a neighbor’s private Torah and had nearly 250 people attend via Zoom. His story is an interesting one that can help provide a template for others to throw their own remote bar/bat mitzvah. You can read about this story here and here, this article contains a firsthand recounting of the event.

Baltimore Magazine has a humorous and insightful story of a family throwing a virtual bar mitzvah. Not only is it an entertaining read, but it is chock full of useful information for throwing your own. You can find it here.

Reconnecting with a Hobby 3/26/20

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My comic book collection in a box

Given how much time I am in my house, I thought I would share my new project.  I am finally organizing my childhood comic book collection!  I have not seen these comics in over 35 years!

Comic Book Collection

My comic book collection organization on the floor

Going through these comics has brought me smiles and joy!  I remember how diligently I cataloged them as a young boy.

Typed Comic Book List

My inventory list of all of my comics which I created and typed when I was 9 years old

  • What is a new project that you can start during this Life in the Pause?
  • Do you have a childhood collection or hobby that you could rekindle in these Life in the Pause period?
  • Would it bring you joy and happiness?

Regards,

Andy

Spiderman Illustration

Spider Man Cartoon signed by John Romita Sr. (original Spider Man artist)

Andy & his parents Venice, Italy

Me and my parents on my first Cruise, the Daphne, in 1975 in Venice.  I wore my superhero tee shirts every day of the trip!

Nurturing Nature 3/25/20

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I miss seeing all of my teammates and I really look forward to our company meeting today to gather and check in and give our “high fives!”– virtually but actually

While I work in my home office, I look outside my window I feel so happy to see trees and the sun.  Nature has never felt so sweet to me.  Stepping outside to breath the fresh air has been a blessing that I had taken for granted – not anymore.  I will now savor how nurturing nature can feel.

I wanted to share a blog that I had previously written about “How you ever had a love affair…..with a tree?” Here is the link.

Regards,

Andy

Finding the Worm 3/24/20

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As the global pandemic seems to worsen, I look for the light at the end of the tunnel.  A great motivator for me is thinking about legacy. I am so grateful to the legacy that my family has provided me.

  • My grandfather Normy told me “Don’t let anyone rain on your parade!”
  • My mom, of blessed memory, told me “The early worm gets the early worm, the late bird gets the late worm, there is ALWAYS a worm”

During challenging times, I find myself reflecting on these seemingly simple sayings. For me, they are simply not so simple. They have been powerful fuel and motivation for me to drive, survive, thrive, and live.

I have also shared these blessings with my daughters, Caroline and Lucy. I can feel the love and encouragement from my Grandfather and Mom from above and around as they feel the impact that their words have on my children.

During these times of reflection, legacy can help create a sense of belonging and may mitigate any feelings of loneliness.

I think that leaving a legacy creates meaning for each of us.

  • How can we find meaning in our lives? Can we look to our family traditions for guide and inspiration?
  • What legacy has your family left to you? What is your legacy that you will leave to your family?

Here is a link to a blog that I wrote on the topic of legacy.  (Full disclosure – I also integrate my passion for photos!)

Regards,

Andy

The Journey to Freedom 3/23/20

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I hope that you had a restful first weekend of our quarantine.

This weekend, I walked outside for the first time in 8 days.  I was so happy to feel that fresh air and sun.  It was so heartwarming to feel the kindness and smiles of everyone as we walked by each other – at a 6 foot distance.

As I prepare for Passover, I think about the Exodus story.  The Hebrews fled from slavery in Egypt, wandered in the desert wilderness, and reached Freedom in the Promise Land.

These three stages can be viewed as Past, Present, and Future.

The Past – Slavery — to an ideal or habit

The Present – Wandering — and discovering new possibilities

The Future – Hope and faith in freedom — and a seeking new beginning

Applying this framework to Corona, we can reflect on the three stages:

The Past – Pre Corona

  • What is a familiar daily object or habit (pre-corona) that you may have been enslaved to that you no longer miss?

The Present – During Corona

  • In our desert wandering, what is something new that you have discovered or learned during this corona circumstance?

The Future – Freedom Post Corona

  • What is something you are looking forward to when we forge our freedom from corona?

For me, I will share my experiences.

 The Past – Pre Corona

  • What is a familiar daily object or habit that you may have been enslaved to that you no longer miss?
    • I have been enslaved to my daily travel bag –an LL Bean Photo Butler Bag which contains my travel essentials. It has been within my eyesight at all times for the past two years as I have been traveling constantly.  During this corona period, it is in my upstairs storage room…I do not miss it.

The Present – During Corona

  • In our wandering, what is something new that you have discovered or learned during this corona circumstance?
    • I have learned the possibilities of video calls.
    • With my first ZOOM conference call last week, I was so excited by the possibility of genuine human intimacy despite geographic distance.
    • I discovered “Virtual High Fives” on the screen to give a handshake which needs to be reinvented in this context.
    • I have discovered Nightly facetime calls with my daughters Lucy and Caroline. It is so much fun to see our faces together on the small screen and create such a big feeling of love and togetherness.

The Future – Post Corona

  • What is something you are looking forward to when we forge our freedom from corona?
    • A hug.
      • Now I simply hope and pray for the day when I can hug my loved ones, who are now not with me, in person.
    • I now realize that freedom with loved one can be found in a simple embrace.

Stay safe and secure.

Regards,

Andy

Tips to Stay Healthy 3/22/20

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I wanted to share the inspiring email that my older brother Laurence shared with his company on Friday.  Laurence is my best friend and is so practical and grounded. I found his advice so sweet, simple, sage, safe, and sincere. My fervent hope is that just one of you finds one piece of advice to connect with. If more than one of you is helped in any small way, I will be more than elated.

I wish you a salubrious Sunday in the midst of the storm.

We will persevere – we can, we will – together – with unity and equanimity.

Regards,

Andy

P.S.  Here is my brother’s email in its entirety.

Subject: Reflections

Good morning.

I know that this week was a tough week between working remotely and hearing so many different stories about what is going on in the world with the Coronavirus. I would like to ask that everyone take the weekend to relax, recharge, and catch up from a busy work-week. We will get through this, but our minds need some time to be distracted from the situation, and find a way to find some peace and calm.

A few tips from my experience:

*Anxiety & Stress Reduction – please do not stress over rumors that various people share – frequently they are not true, and the only thing that these do is create more stress in our lives.  If you hear anything, ask if this a fact or just a rumor.  Please focus on the things that are still important for you like family, friends, and pets, if any.

*Sleep – get plenty of sleep – our bodies need a full night’s rest and the weekend is the perfect time to catch up.  Go to bed early if you can and let your body replenish itself.  We need the extra energy in these times.

*Exercise and Diet – although it is tempting to treat ourselves when you are working from home, please try to eat as healthy as possible and take some time to do some exercise, even if it is just walking outside for a bit of fresh air.  Try to keep fruits and vegetables around since we need as many vitamins in our body as possible.

*Meditation – it is good to take deep breathes, and perhaps look for some good meditation podcasts, videos, or apps to find ways to find inner peace even if you just take a few minutes a day for this.

*News – try not to watch too much news.  The world will go on whether you watch the news or not, but from an expert news-watcher, I can tell you watching the tv news with 100% Coronavirus coverage is very unsettling.  I recommend catching up on movies, old tv shows, and other non-news shows.  Personally, I have been watching Love Boat, Columbo, and Mary Tyler Moore, among other old shows.  If you want to reach farther back, Netflix has Leave it to Beaver, which is still a great show.

*Hobbies – if you have any hobbies that you can focus on, try to spend some time on these.  If you don’t have hobbies, perhaps grab a good book and be transported to another world of an author’s creation.

Good luck this weekend and I hope that everyone can recharge themselves so they will be fresh for Monday.

Regards

Laurence

Developing Daily Gratitude 3/20/20

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As we approach the end of our first week of corona at home quarantine, I want to express my pride for everyone working for the three companies I lead. I am appreciative and amazed at how hard everyone has worked and connected during this time of disconnection. During my various interactions with everyone, I sensed energy and positivity. It is a tribute to our human spirit to persevere and to imagine.

Each day try to:

  • Be positive
  • Help someone feel happiness
  • Shine the light in the darkness
  • Express daily gratitude for something – even something very small
  • Meditate to create the feeling of safety, security, and freedom

I wanted to share some of my favorite books which I read during my 40-day bed rest isolation in 2017.  You can find the list here.

Maybe one of these books will be meaningful for you.

I pray that this weekend brings you some reflective time to look inside and listen to your heart.  It is the most important organ to sustain our entire body.  The fuel for our body is oxygen — the purpose of the heart to pump oxygen to the body.  The fuel for the heart is love – one purpose of each of us is to love others and most importantly, learn to love ourselves.

Regards,

Andy

Virtual Handshakes for Human Connection 3/19/20

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Here are my Life in the Pause reflection for today.

I am often inspired by quotes from Vladimir Horowitz, the great pianist, who did not leave his house for twelve years (he was complicated). Later a guest at his home, James Burnham, said “Is it really true you didn’t leave this house for 12 years?” Horowitz, looking around, said, “You don’t like my house?”

Another Vladimir Horowitz story I enjoy is when a reporter asked him “Vladimir, how do you play the piano notes so much more beautifully than anyone else?”  Vladimir responded, “It is not the notes that I play more beautifully, …it is the pauses”

What is a handshake in the age of corona?

In many cultures, a handshake is a simple greeting – but actually not so simple.  It is truly an intuitive expression of human connection.  When do you start the handshake? How long and how vigorously do you shake? When do you end? Most handshakes occur without incident – they just do. However, there are typical examples of potential awkwardness – a hand extended but not requited, a grab that is too strong or too weak, and sometimes the shake is too short or too long.

There is no manual for how to shake hands. In this age of social isolation, how do we reinvent the “handshake” – to decline human contact but seek human connection.

Yesterday, I participated in a ZOOM video meeting for the first time. I instinctively gave a High Five on the screen.  It seems to be to be the new Corona style “hand shake”.  Although there is not the human touch of skin on the skin, I truly felt the human heart.  In addition, the novelty seemed to make everyone smile; I humbly hope it did.

In that spirit, I am going to always virtually “high five” when using ZOOM. During a company meeting I held on ZOOM yesterday, everyone gave a virtual “high five” at the same time. It was a touching and memorable moment.

Although we are remote, I do not want anyone to feel removed.  Separate space does not need to preclude synchronicity of spirit.

Regards,

Andy