Kyoto Stones, Seder Songs: Where Ryoan-ji Meets Dayenu

Fourteen stones in view
the fifteenth waits in stillness,
afikoman heart.

Our family loves Japan.

“日本語が大好きですね.” (I really love Japanese!) Lucy texted me that the other day. A minute later came another message in English: “I just spent so much time talking in Japanese. It was lit!”

I wrote back:
「ルーシーが日本語を好きなのは、ご飯の白さみたいに当たり前だね。」
(Your love of Japanese is as natural as white on rice.)

That’s a typical exchange between my favorite younger daughter, Lucy, and me. She tells me how much she loves Japanese; I beam with pride at her determination and proficiency. Lucy and I even shared the same first-year Japanese teacher at Harvard. When I arrived, Kageyama-sensei was the youngest instructor. Years later, when Lucy was a freshman, she had become department chair. Time braided our lives in a very Japanese way.

Over a recent lunch, a new friend who had also lived in Japan asked a simple question: we’re both Jewish and infatuated with Japan, what connects the two? Until that moment, I hadn’t tried to name the bridge.

I lived in Japan in high school, in Hanazono-ku in northwest Kyoto, with the generous Kitamaru family. Ryoan-ji was nearby. The first time I entered its rock garden, I felt quietly transported. There are fifteen stones, but from any vantage you can see only fourteen. The fifteenth is hidden. Zen teaches it’s felt in the heart.

Years later I took Caroline and Lucy to Japan for a summer when they were thirteen and ten. They studied in a local school and something in Lucy lit up. That seed later blossomed in college Japanese and today she texts me in nihongo for fun.

Two ideas, one from each tradition, keep interplaying in my mind. The first is gratitude. Near Ryoan-ji’s garden stands a small stone basin, a tsukubai. Its inscription reads 吾唯知足: ware tada taru o shiru: “I only know contentment.” Dayenu in another language. At our Passover table, Dayenu is a family favorite. We even play with  small gratitude game: “If we had only this delicious dinner with Caroline and Lucy, and not the rest of our friends and family—Dayenu.” Given Breaking Matzo’s tradition of many international charoset recipes, “If we had only one kind of charoset, and not eleven—Dayenu.” The formula trains the heart to notice “enough” before “more.” The hidden fifteenth stone and the Seder’s afikoman feel like cousins. Something precious and deliberately concealed which reminds us that a hidden piece of ourselves completes the story. You can read more about Dayenu here.

The second idea is time. In tea culture there is ichigo ichie—一期一会—“one time, one meeting.” Each encounter is unrepeatable. Years ago, I gave Lucy a calligraphy of this saying and she still treasures it today. Ichigo ichie is the foundation of omotenashi; Japanese hospitality, an anticipatory welcome that treats this guest, this cup, and this breath as singular. Judaism answers with Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel’s “palace in time.” Shabbat arrives every week for twenty-four hours, independent of place. Our holy days live on the calendar, not in a building. We celebrate anywhere: at home, on the road, even davening in the desert. Only Sukkot asks for a place; a fragile hut beneath the sky, precisely to remind us that place, too, is temporary while time remains holy. You can read more about Rabbi Heschel here.

Order is central in both Japan and Judaism. Japan orders life by place: the bento’s compartments, elevator etiquette, and the meeting’s seating chart. Judaism orders life by process: Seder literally means “order”: blessings, washings, telling, tasting, remembering.

Leadership is structured differently in each culture as well. In Japan, deference flows to age and rank. In Judaism, the youngest asks the Four Questions and a thirteen-year-old bar or bat mitzvah can deliver a d’var Torah.

Even our washings share purpose while diverging in rhythm. At Ryoan-ji’s tsukubai, you purify your own hands and pray quietly, often alone. In Jewish life, the Levites wash the hands of the Kohanim and; at the Seder we wash twice, and we often pray with a minyan-not because
God can’t hear us solo, but-because community is part of the prayer.

A recall a small scene from my time in Japan: a tea host bowed, hands low. Steam rose from a small chawan. Mr. Mogi and Lucy spoke in quick Japanese; I sat in quiet gratitude. I mouthed “Dayenu” as the first sip touched my lips, enough, right here.

Why does this matter? Because I realized how long I kept these loves in separate silos. Japan in one reservoir, Judaism in another, not  letting them irrigate each other. The moment I let the waters mingle, curiosity began to flow again. No new facts, just new awareness. Jacob’s ladder (Genesis 28) comes to mind: angels going up and down on the same rungs. My up-and-down years, Japan and Judaism, share one ladder. The Torah teaches integration over compartmentalization. The Ark is overlaid with gold inside and out. Wholeness is holy; not celebrated separateness.

And this learning doesn’t end in me. On our first visit to Ryoan-ji, Lucy was ten, chattering in front of the stone garden and distracted by the heat. On our last trip, it was a joy to walk Japan with her language and cultural fluency lighting the way. Back at Ryoan-ji, she settled into the stillness of the inner stone sanctum and met her own quiet. Around the corner she discovered the tsukubai and, smiling, performed the solitary cleansing. Her growth in Japan was palpable. With Caroline and Quincy’s wedding and, God willing, future generations of Goldfarbs around our Seder table, I can imagine teaching the next generation both the ichigo ichie of the present moment and the Dayenu of enoughness.

A small practice, if you’d like to try it this week: before lighting candles, whisper ichigo ichie; one time, one meeting, to honor this unrepeatable Shabbat. After Kiddush, offer one personal Dayenu line: “If I had ______ and not ______—Dayenu.” One sentence is enough. Enough is the point.

Japan has been my mind; Judaism, my soul. From today, I will live them as one; inside and out. Dayenu.

Ladle: Dayenu
a palace made of set time,
once is everything.

Postscript remembrance:
I remember fondly my Harvard professor Henry Rosovsky, who taught me Japanese economics and was a pioneer in forging relations between Jews, Israel, and Saudi Arabia in the early 1980s. Back then I saw these pursuits as separate and distinct. Now I see Henry’s life and work in a newly integrated light, fractured facts harmonized into a beautiful rainbow.

Further reading:

Tsukubai are stone water basins that are used in purification rituals and tea ceremonies. The zenibachi is a famous tsukubai located at the Ryoanji Temple in Kyoto. The zenibachi is shaped like an ancient Chinese coin. The round shape represents the Earth and the square cut into the center represents the heavens. There are four characters carved into it with the following meanings:

Together they translate to “I only know plenty”, a quote with a myriad of meanings and inspirations. I interpret it to mean “I am content with what I have”, a spiritual parallel to the Hebrew Dayenu: “It would have been enough.” I am filled with joy each time I see this unique and meaningful structure. You can learn more about the zenibachi here.

You can read more about Ryoanji and Japanese hospitality of Omotenashi here and here.

You can read about Heschel’s Temple of Time here and more about Dayenu here.

You can read about the Fugu Plan and  the connections between Japan and Jews in World War II here.

Exodus 25:11;  Holy Wholeness, not celebrated separateness
Hebrew:
וְצִפִּיתָ אֹתוֹ זָהָב טָהוֹר; מִבַּיִת וּמִחוּץ תְּצַפֶּנּוּ, וְעָשִׂיתָ עָלָיו זֵר זָהָב סָבִיב.

Translation (literal):
“You shall overlay it with pure gold; inside and outside you shall overlay it, and you shall make upon it a rim of gold all around.”

 

Tidal Waves Begin with a Single Raindrop.

In mid-October 2025, I felt a tidal wave of emotion seeing the final release of the 20 living hostages from Hamas captivity to freedom in Israel. The outpouring of relief in Israel and the Jewish world;  particularly here in Miami, was overwhelming. For two years at our weekly minyans, we prayed for every hostage. At the same time, a US-brokered ceasefire offered hope that Israelis and Palestinians might live free of Hamas terror.

Thinking about that wave, a raindrop came to mind. Many raindrops form a tributary; many tributaries become a roaring river; and from there a tidal wave.

Here is my personal raindrop:

Since October 7, 2023, I have worn my yellow ribbon hostage pin at our weekly Shabbat minyan. Each week we danced, solidarity and spiritual awakening. One week I looked at my lapel and saw only the back of the pin. I dropped to the floor looking for the missing ribbon. Others joined me in my search, but it was gone. At our next Shabbat minyan, my friend Joe smiled and pressed a new yellow pin into my hand. Everyone saw. There was no speeches or ceremony, just a tiny act of chesed. One raindrop joined by other raindrops.

By fortuitous fate, the following week I was invited by a GCC delegation to visit the United Nations. I wore my newly gifted pin to the UN, a small emblem in a very large room, not always sympathetic to our cause. I was proud that many noticed the yellow hostage pin.

Our raindrops were now becoming a stream.

It is tempting to call this the butterfly effect, but it’s different. The butterfly effect is chaos math: an accidental flutter becoming a storm. What I witnessed was the covenant effect: collective, consistent, compassionate chosen action repeated until it gathers enough force to move history.

In Genesis, our sages teach (Rashi on 2:5) that God sent rain only after Adam and Eve, so humans could ask for and appreciate the blessing. We pray for rain because we know its goodness.

In 1979, when Iranian terrorists seized the US Embassy in Tehran and 52 Americans were held hostage for 444 days, yellow ribbons became a national symbol of hope Across the country we tied ribbons to windows, trees, lapels and more while we prayed for return. Yet there is a contrast: in Noach, there is too much water, the flood.

How do tributaries handle obstacles? Rivers find a way around rocks; persistent water wears them down.

When I wore my yellow hostage pin at the UN, a man approached me in the Security Council room and said he was Israeli and the UN forbade him from wearing a yellow hostage pin. This motivated me to wear my pin even more.

Wearing a hostage pin is, to me, like placing a menorah in the window: we illuminate the street not to provoke the dark, but to remind the dark that it cannot last. While pins found lapels, some people ripped down hostage posters from poles. No one would remove a “lost dog” poster, why tear down a hostage poster? Removing a sign cannot remove a soul, and yet it wounds the one doing the tearing.

This fight only makes us stronger. My niece Gabrielle was told by her Washington, DC landlord that she could not hang a mezuzah on her apartment door. Rather than acquiesce, Gabrielle used the laws of our land to assert the laws of our people. Her legal victory made headlines, a beacon of light into the darkness.

I think of Muhammad Ali in Zaire in 1974,the Rumble in the Jungle. George Foreman pounded away, round after round. In the seventh round, Ali leaned close and said, “Is that all you got, George?…Is that all you got?” Foreman sagged; Ali turned the tide and won.

Heraclitus taught that no man steps into the same river twice for it is not the same river and he is not the same man. Our community is that river. At the headwaters is the snowmelt of cold convictions.  The midstream are the tributaries carrying different sediments. At the mouth the freshwater wrestles with salt. Though there are different waters and different views, it is all the same river.

The story of the children of Israel has often turned on individual raindrops. In Exodus, when Nachshon ben Aminadav stepped into the Sea of Reeds, the waters did not split at the first splash. He kept walking, deeper, steadier until faith met its own momentum and the Sea of Reeds yielded, and Moses led the Children of Israel out of Egypt into the wilderness. Not a miracle of spectacle, but a miracle of accumulation: step upon step, heartbeat after heartbeat, the stream becoming a river and the river making a path where there was none.

So here is my prayer: May we each be a first raindrop. May our small, stubborn acts find one another in alleys and boardrooms, in sanctuaries and city squares, in WhatsApp threads and around kitchen tables, until streams of courage become rivers of consolation, and at the sea hostages return, soldiers come home, and every mother finally sleeps.
Commitment is necessary; belief makes it sufficient. Together, belief and commitment turn raindrops into tidal waves. They don’t start in headlines; they start in human hearts. Put on the pin. Light the menorah. Touch the mezuzah when you leave and when you return. Offer the quiet kindness someone will remember a week later, a year later, a lifetime later. Let us choose the actions that help us gain our souls and help others find theirs.

Be the raindrop, move the sea.

 

raindrop on tallit—
rivulets of kindness meet;
the sea parts for love.

 

Further Reading

You can read more about Mohammed Ali and the in the Rumble in the Jungle here.

You can read more about Gabrielle’s story of fighting for her mezuzah here.

Wisdom Begins with Wonder: The Beginner’s Mind of Moses

Burning, not consumed—
Moses turns aside to see.
Wonder leads to truth.

There is always a first time. For me, it happened on Rosh Hashanah. Joan and I were having dinner at Chabad in Lenox, Massachusetts, on the first night of the holiday. Our table was deeply engaged in conversation about the Torah, Israel, and Jewish meaning. The woman seated next to me, Naomi, asked, “When did you convert to Judaism?”

I was caught off guard. After a pause, I asked, “Why do you think I converted?”

She replied matter-of-factly, “You kept referencing things in Judaism and Torah that you recently learned.”

I smiled and explained, “I was born Jewish, but I never stop learning.”

We both laughed. That moment inspired this reflection on what I call the “Beginner’s Mindset” and the pursuit of lifelong learning.

The Torah gives us the ideal model of a lifelong learner: Moses. His journey begins not with grandeur, but with curiosity. In Exodus 3:2–4, he notices a burning bush. A common sight in the wilderness, yet something prompts Moses to turn aside and look again. That simple act of awareness, of seeing the ordinary in a new light, became his divine awakening.

This transformation reminds me of Wayne Gretzky, who once said that even after scoring 200 points in a season, “I am always learning new things about hockey, and seeing things on the ice I have not seen before.” Like Moses, Gretzky never stopped being a student. Greatness isn’t about final perfection, it’s about continuous learning and determined discovery.

As a lifelong tennis fan, I’ve always found meaning in the backhand. For two tennis greats, Mats Wilander and Roger Federer, the backhand became a tool of transformation.

Mid-career, Wilander added a one-handed slice backhand to complement his two-handed bludgeoning backhand, drawing inspiration from legendary Swede Bjorn Borg. The added variation gave his game unpredictability and helped him win three Grand Slams in 1988, rising to World No. 1.

I’m reminded of my college squash coach who once told me: “If you want to hit your forehand harder, try also hitting it softer.” Contrast, not just power, can disrupt and surprise.

Roger Federer’s backhand, once considered a liability, evolved through precise technical adjustments and a heavier racquet. By striking earlier and higher, he transformed his weakness into a weapon. From 2017–2018, he returned to dominance; not by inventing something new, but by mastering something old.

In Japanese philosophy, 初心忘るべからず (Shoshin wasuru bekarazu) means “Never forget the beginner’s spirit.” 生涯学習 (Shōgai Gakushū) translates to “lifelong learning.” These values, deeply rooted in Zen and Confucian thought, echo Moses’ evolution. He never stopped learning From Hashem, his people, and his own failures; Moses epitomized Shoshin at the top of Mt Sinai.

Later life in, Moses added a new skill. When God called on him to lead, Moses resisted: “I am not a man of words… I am slow of speech and slow of tongue” (Exodus 4:10). A Midrash suggests he burned his tongue as a child. Moses pleaded for Aaron to speak in his place. Yet by Deuteronomy, Moses evolved into the most loquacious leader of the Children of Israel. The hesitant shepherd became the eloquent prophet.

Let’s return to our Rosh Hashanah at the Lenox Chabad. On the second day of Rosh Hashanah, Rabbi Levi honored me with blowing the Shofar and receiving the first Aliyah as a Kohen. At Kiddush afterward, Naomi and I laughed about her assumption the night before. The “convert” became a “Kohen” and was now chanting blessings and sounding the shofar.

May we each have the courage to pause, the curiosity to look again, and the humility to begin anew. May we continue to turn aside, to see, to listen, and to grow. May our “nevers” become ”nows” as we experience new perspectives and learn new skills. I am filled with anticipatory excitement about my next opportunity to say, “There is always a first time. For me, it happened on…” …to be discovered.

Shoshin at Sinai,
Even masters seek to grow—
Fire never fades.

Appendix:

RogerFederer

Grand Slam victories after his backhand evolution

  • In 2017, Federer won two Grand Slams: the Australian Open 2017 and the Wimbledon Championships 2017.
  • In 2018 he won the Australian Open 2018 (his 20th major).
  • His career total is 20 Grand Slam men’s singles titles.

Win‑loss record & ranking

  • For the 2017 season: win–loss record of 54–5.
  • Career stats: 103 ATP singles titles; Grand Slam singles finals: 20 wins, 11 losses.
  • He achieved world No. 1 ranking multiple times, and notably returned to No. 1 in February 2018 at age 36.

MatsWilander

Grand Slam victories after his one‑handed slice/backhand shift

  • According to sources, Wilander “mid‑career, in 1987, developed a highly effective backhand slice.”
  • His peak year was 1988 when he reached world No. 1 (12 September 1988).
  • He won 7 Grand Slam singles titles total: these include the Australian Open (1983, 1984, 1988), Roland Garros / French Open (1982, 1985, 1988) and the US Open (1988).

Win‑loss record & ranking

  • Career high ranking: No. 1 (September 1988) and he finished year‑end No. 1 in 1988.
  • Career singles match record: 571 wins – 222 losses.

I Used to be an Idol Worshipper

In sun-dappled woods,
four leaves whisper easy luck
I learn to bind light.

My first time worshipping an idol was at Camp Winnebago when I was eight. I was walking in the forest on a sunny day, when a found a four-leaf clover. I stared and marveled at it as I envisioned the luck it would bring me. I imagined the candy it would provide, the toys it would summon, the good fortune it would pour into my life. I hurried back to the bunk and showed my bunkmate, Jack, waiting for him to wonder at it as well. Jack took the clover, put it in his mouth, and swallowed it. My idol disappeared in a single gulp. As an eight-year-old, I learned the Torah’s first principles in a simple, stern way: “You shall have no other gods before Me… you shall not make for yourself a graven image” A four-leaf clover is not a covenant.

My second idol lasted longer. After college, backpacking through Europe, I visited Monaco and the Casino de Monte-Carlo. With some beginner’s luck I won big…big for newly minted graduates anyways. I decided to stretch the streak by keeping one poker chip. I called it my “lucky coin.” I saved it for years. Before important calls or meetings, I’d hold it, as if its plastic edge could tilt the universe. I even gave each of my daughters a “lucky coin,” passing along not just an object but a belief. Then, sometime in my forties, I lost mine. I didn’t look very hard to find it. Jacob once said, “Put away the foreign gods… and purify yourselves,” and he buried them under a tree at Shechem. I didn’t bury my coin; it slipped away and I let it stay lost.

After October 7, 2023, I committed to laying tefillin each morning. Holding my great-grandfather’s tefillin, I felt lineage and legacy. I believed in the purpose and felt prayer’s quiet force. I prayed for each of my family members by name, for their hopes and the strength to meet their struggles; for our hostages and IDF soldiers; for leaders to have courage; for my daughter Caroline and Quincy’s wedding to be filled with joy; for Joan’s success on her certification exam.

In late September and October 2025, blessings unfolded. The wedding was luminous with nachas; Caroline and Quincy were filled with joy, and our family and friends stood in harmonious support. Joan passed her certification exam. Miraculously, our living hostages came home. A week later, Joan saw me laying tefillin one morning, noticed my emphatic fist pump when I finished, and asked why. I told her I was simply grateful that so many of my daily prayers were being answered. Where I once clutched a casino chip, I now bind a mitzvah: “Bind them as a sign upon your hand and let them be frontlets between your eyes” I no longer reach into a drawer for luck; I wrap my arm and head with faithful focus, enrobed in familial tradition.

Today, at the JNF world event (which my niece Gabrielle helped organize), I heard Omer Shem Tov speak about surviving 505 days in captivity. In the absolute dark he spoke each morning to Hashem,—First he asked how God was and whether there was anything he could do for God. Then he thanked God for breath, even as Hamas starved him in their terror tunnels. Omer credits faith with sustaining him through what should have been unsustainable. His story revived my heart.

I look back with incredulity at the things I worshipped: a clover that could be simply swallowed, a poker chip that could be luckily lost. I also see that I once prayed only for myself, selfish and soulless, an object for an outcome. Now I pray with God, asking Him to help my family and our world toward life and fulfillment. Friends have asked me to pray for them; though I felt ill-equipped at first, I prayed anyway.

I am resolved: I will not serve false idols like a lucky coin or a four-leaf clover. I’m reminded of golf legend Gary Player. After a round that included two chip-ins and a near hole-in-one, he was asked, “How are you so lucky?” He said, “The harder I practice, the luckier I get.” I’ll revise it: “The more I practice with faith, the more I pray the luckier I get.” I still believe in luck; the difference is that I now hold a deep and divine sense of gratitude.

Luck slips through my hands;
leather binds morning to heart—
gratitude abides.

Additional Reading

Omer Shem Tov
Omer Shem Tov, 22, was abducted by Hamas from the Tribe of Nova music festival on Oct. 7, 2023. He was held underground in Gaza for 505 days, enduring prolonged isolation and starvation. He was released on Feb. 22, 2025, in a cease-fire exchange. Since returning home, he’s become a public advocate for the remaining hostages, sharing how daily prayer and gratitude sustained him in captivity and meeting communities worldwide to keep attention on their release.

You can watch a segment from a talk he gave here and read a profile on is advocacy work here.

Torah references:

  • “You shall have no other gods before Me… you shall not make for yourself a graven image” (Exodus 20:3–5).
  • “Bind them as a sign upon your hand and let them be frontlets between your eyes” (Deuteronomy 6:8; cf. 11:18; Exodus 13:9,16).
  • Jacob once said, “Put away the foreign gods… and purify yourselves,” and he buried them under a tree at Shechem (Genesis 35:2–4)
  • JNF (Jewish National Fund)Since its founding in 1901, Jewish National Fund USA’s passion, commitment, and vision for the future of Israel and the Jewish people has remained clear and unwavering.

The Life in her years; and beyond

Opening Haiku

Not the years she had,
but the life she poured in them —
still filling our hearts.

As I reflect on my mom’s (of blessed memory) tenth yahrzeit, I am reminded of a small wooden plaque that sat on her desk and now rests on mine (from Mom’s desk plaque):

“It’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years.”

That simple phrase captures her spirit. It returned to me this Sukkot, when I celebrated with my friend Koby, who gathers remarkable scholars and spiritual seekers beneath the sukkah’s shade while enjoying his wife Rivka’s delicious culinary creations. One guest, named Yisrael, shared a story that has stayed with me.

In a small town, two neighbors lived side by side — one rich, one poor. The rich man possessed every comfort but no joy. The poor man, though lacking possessions, filled his home with music, laughter, and weekly Shabbat spirit. His table overflowed not with food, but with gratitude.

When Sukkot came, the rich man grew jealous of his neighbor’s radiant joy. Determined to prevent him from building a sukkah, he ordered the townspeople not to give the poor man even a scrap of wood. Yet on the first night of Sukkot, the poor man’s sukkah stood proudly, glowing with light and song.

“How did you build it?” the rich man demanded.
“I found the wood in the cemetery,” the poor man replied.

The rich man scoffed — until he stepped inside and examined each board, carved with names and dates. Then he froze: one plank bore his own name, his birth date … but no date of death.

Startled, he asked, “How did you get this?”
“When no one would help me,” the poor man said, “the Angel of Death appeared, carrying a grave marker — for you. I pleaded for your life, asking to use that unfinished plank for my sukkah roof instead.”

And so the rich man’s life was extended. He realized his days were not infinite gifts to hoard but sacred opportunities to celebrate — and he devoted the rest of his years to joy and generosity.

After Rosh Hashanah this year, my favorite older brother Laurence invited me to play golf with his friend Bennet. On the first tee, I asked, “How were your holidays?”

Bennet said his rabbi had given a moving sermon about tombstones. Each bears two dates, birth and death, but, the rabbi explained, the true meaning lies in the dash “–” between them. That dash is your life. Live your dash fully.

As a writer, my mom taught me the wisdom of words. In her passing, she has taught me the power of punctuation — how it can serve as a metaphor for life, and beyond.

  • Periods mark quiet endings.
  • Exclamation points mark emphatic ones.
  • Question marks express curiosity and doubt.
  • Commas connect thoughts — a breath between moments.
  • Ellipses teach continuity and love — that a soul goes on.
  • Colons open possibilities.
  • Parentheses hold tangients — but that’s another story.
  • And the most sacred mark, the semicolon; not an end, but a pause before continuing a new beginning, a moment to gather strength for renewal.

The semicolon echoes the soul’s endurance — when life gives you reason to stop, yet you choose to go on. It is resilience, remembrance, and rebirth.

What if every tombstone ended with a semicolon — a symbol of legacy, an opening toward eternity?

My Mother’s Double Portion

When I spoke at my mom’s funeral in 2015, I quoted 2 Kings 2: Elisha asks Elijah, “Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit.” I asked for that same gift from my mom.

Ten years later, I realize she granted it.

She gave each of us a double portion of her soul — a faith that keeps multiplying. She taught us to leave our sukkah standing an extra week, to stretch joy a little longer, to make more room for love and memory.

I remember that final Sukkot with her. I left my sukkah up an extra week so she could see it before I took it down. After she passed, I found her own words about keeping hers up longer — extending holiness just a little further:

“This year I kept it up for two more weeks and reluctantly decided tomorrow would be the day. Then I got a reprieve, as my husband invited someone over to see it — an older Jewish couple who were so touched to see a sukkah today. They were moved to see us, the younger generation, recreating something from their past in this modern present.
Now I feel I have again seen the cycle of life and it is time to tear the sukkah down for this year. I think of Ecclesiastes 3: There is a time to build and a time to tear down that which was built. Eventually, all that was ever true before will be true again. For those who seek new meaning to life — it’s all there.”

The sukkah itself is a metaphor, a sukkah of abundance and a sukkah of vulnerability in the wilderness. Hashem gave the children of Israel the first Shabbat, and it is only through faith in God that we can hold humility during times of abundance, and hug and heal our hearts in moments of sadness and fragility.

Ten years ago today, I could speak only of pain and the blessings of the past. Today, I can hold both — the ache of her absence and the blessing of her continued presence.

My mom left us not with a period, certainly not a question mark, and most definitely not an exclamation point. She left us with a semicolon — a pause that invites us to carry her story forward and write our own.

My mom’s favorite expression was never “The early bird gets the worm.” She taught me instead:

“The early bird gets the early worm, the late bird gets the late worm. There is always another worm.”

The dates on her tombstone may mark a beginning and an end, but her life’s chapters live in the dash — with the semicolon and beyond it; in every extra helping, extra week, extra kindness, and extra measure of life she taught us to give.

Now, as I sit at my desk and gaze at her small wooden plaque, ‘It’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years,’ I feel her presence guiding my typing on her keyboard which I saved from her writing desk and have continued to use to this day. I light the yahrzeit candle beside it, its flame flickering like a comma before lifting upward again.

Not a period.
Not a question mark.
Not an exclamation point.
A semicolon ; a sacred pause, and a promise to keep living.

Closing Haiku

Years fade into light,
but her semicolon glows on ;
pause, then live again.

My mom’s interview on Howard Stern in the late 1990s.  Such a revealing insight into my mom’s and our family legacy of standing firm and expressing our opinions, with humor and humility.

My mom’s blog about Succot and photo from 1973 at our succah

You can read about my thoughts on the afterlife here.

My mom’s favorite recipe…Chocolate Matzo Mousse Cake.

Matzo to Moufleta: Discovering Mimouna and the Joy of Moroccan Passover

Passover. Do I know a lot about Passover?

Given that I launched this website (BreakingMatzo.com) to help make Passover magical, meaningful, and memorable; I thought I knew a lot. I’ve celebrated Passover every year of my life. I’ve voraciously studied the Haggadah, explored Exodus symbolism, hosted Seders across three continents, and clocked over 2,000 hours of  research and reflection. So I felt confident in my knowledge of Passover.

Until Joan smiled and said, “Let’s celebrate Mimouna at Debbie and Jay’s!”

I blinked. “Mimouna? What’s that?”

She lit up: “I’m so excited for Jay’s moufleta!”

More blinking. “Wait, moufleta?”

It was a complete revelation. As an Ashkenazi from Boston, I’d never heard of Mimouna, nor moufleta, and neither had my family or even my rabbi.

It turns out this vibrant tradition is deeply familiar to Moroccan Jews. In North Africa, it’s as common as matzo ball soup and gefilte fish is to Ashkenazi Jews. Just like that, I realized Passover had another surprise in store for me. I wasn’t just discovering a new custom, I was uncovering a whole new lens on Jewish life, joy, and unity.

What Is Mimouna?

Mimouna is a festive celebration that begins at sundown the day Passover ends. It’s a tradition rooted in Moroccan Jewish life, symbolizing a joyful return to chametz (leavened foods), the hope of abundance, and the power of hospitality. Neighbors and friends visit one another’s homes, sharing sweet treats, singing songs, and welcoming blessings of prosperity and peace. As our bellies expand from chametz to leavened food, we are expanding our souls and minds and sharing with our broader community.

The star of the Mimouna table is moufleta, a warm, buttery crepe often served with honey and jam. After a week of matzo, this delicacy feels like a soft, joyful hug for your taste buds. You can find our recipe for moufleta here.

There’s even a tradition of passing leftover matzo over one’s head: a symbolic gesture of leaving the affliction of slavery behind and stepping into a new season of liberation.

Ashkenazi and Sephardic: One Story, Many Journeys

This experience reminded me how vast and varied the Jewish world is. Though we all tell the story of the Exodus, the ways we celebrate Passover differ in remarkable ways:

– Ashkenazi Passover: I grew up with gefilte fish, horseradish tears, and kitniyot prohibitions. We followed a structured Seder, weaving stories of slavery and freedom with matzo ball soup and brisket.

– Sephardic Passover: Many Sephardic Jews, including Moroccan, Yemenite, and Syrian communities, allow rice and legumes. Their Seders brim with poetry, song, and theatrical re-enactments, like wrapping matzo in cloth and slinging it over a shoulder to simulate the Exodus.

Torah and the Journey from Affliction to Abundance

Deuteronomy 16:3 reminds us that matzo is the bread of affliction, eaten in haste as we left Egypt. But Judaism doesn’t end with affliction, it invites transformation.

From matzo to moufleta, we witness the journey from survival to celebration, from deprivation to delight. The shift mirrors the Israelites’ journey from Egypt to Sinai to the Promised Land.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel once wrote: “Judaism is not only about laws, it is about the transformation of time and the sanctification of joy.” Mimouna embodies that principle with sugar, song, and smiles.

But Mimouna isn’t about dividing Ashkenazi from Sephardic. It’s about inviting everyone in. At its heart, Mimouna is a celebration of hachnasat orchim: the mitzvah of welcoming guests, just as Abraham did in Genesis 18.

Moufleta is best shared with friends. The more the merrier.

A Final Blessing

There is always more to learn. Always a new tradition to uncover, a new flavor to taste, or a new soul to welcome. Passover is about memory, but it is also about discovery. Just as the Afikoman is hidden and later revealed during Tzafun symbolizing the concealed parts of ourselves, each Seder invites us to uncover a new insight, a new layer of freedom waiting to be found.

As the Talmud teaches in Pesachim 116b, “In every generation, each person must see themselves as if they came out of Egypt.” And sometimes, that journey includes a surprise detour through Morocco with moufleta in hand.

Chag Sameach, and Mimouna Mabrouka. May your freedom be sweet and your table full.

Enjoy a haiku inspired by this blog:

Matzo turns to crepe,
Honey drips on newfound joy—
Freedom’s final taste.

You can find a recipe for moufleta here.

Sukkot Slow-Cooked Brisket with Potato Gnocchi

Some meals stay with you long after the plates are cleared. This one certainly did.

I had a wonderful Succah luncheon at my dear friends Koby and Rivka’s home. Rivka is one of those rare cooks who can take a traditional favorite and make it completely new while keeping its soul intact. She created this BBQ Brisket with Potato Gnocchi. A dish that somehow balances the deep, smoky warmth of slow-cooked brisket with the light, pillowy comfort of homemade gnocchi. The contrasting textures of the meat and dumplings make a delightful combination, both rich and soft, hearty and delicate.

It’s the kind of dish that invites both patience and love. The brisket slow cooks for 24 hours, filling the home with a rich aroma that deepens with every passing hour. The gnocchi, made from simple potatoes, becomes the perfect vessel to soak up all those delicious juices. It’s the ultimate ‘make ahead’ meal, ideal for Shabbat, Succot, or any warm family gathering.

As Rivka said with a smile, ‘If you start this brisket today, you’ll be blessed with flavor tomorrow.’

Recipe Card: Mise en Place

Here’s your digital mise en place,  a snapshot of every ingredient, ready to transform into a soulful meal.

BBQ Brisket with Potato Gnocchi Recipe

Serves: 6–8
Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 24 hours (slow cooker)
Total Time: ~25 hours

Ingredients

For the Brisket:

  • 4–5 lb beef brisket (flat cut, trimmed of excess fat)
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 2 tbsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tbsp garlic powder
  • 1 tbsp onion powder
  • 1 tsp chili powder
  • 1 tsp kosher salt
  • 1 tsp black pepper
  • 1 cup BBQ sauce (plus extra for serving)
  • 1 cup beef broth
  • ½ cup honey
  • ½ cup red wine (Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot work beautifully)
  • 1 medium onion, sliced
  • 3 garlic cloves, smashed

For the Potato Gnocchi:

  • 2 lbs russet potatoes (about 3 large)
  • 1½ cups all-purpose flour (plus extra for dusting)
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • 1 tsp kosher salt

Instructions

Prepare and Sear the Brisket

  1. Pat the brisket dry and coat evenly with the spice mix of paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, salt, and pepper.
  2. Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Sear brisket for 4–5 minutes per side until browned and caramelized.
  3. Place onions and garlic at the bottom of a slow cooker. Add the seared brisket, beef broth, BBQ sauce, honey, and red wine.
  4. Cover and cook on low for 24 hours, until fork tender.

Shred the Brisket

  1. Remove brisket from the slow cooker and shred using two forks.
  2. Return to the cooker with its juices and onions. Add an extra ½ cup BBQ sauce if desired. Keep warm.

Make the Potato Gnocchi

  1. Boil whole, unpeeled potatoes in salted water for 25–30 minutes until tender. Drain, peel, and mash until smooth.
  2. On a clean surface, mix potatoes with salt, flour, and egg. Knead gently into a soft dough.
  3. Roll into ropes about ¾ inch thick, cut into 1-inch pieces, and shape on a gnocchi board or with fork tines.
  4. Cook gnocchi in boiling salted water until they float (1–2 minutes). Remove with a slotted spoon.

Combine and Serve

  1. Gently stir cooked gnocchi into the shredded brisket one hour before serving.
  2. Cover and cook on low for 1 hour, allowing flavors to meld.
  3. Serve in shallow bowls with extra BBQ sauce and a drizzle of honey for shine. Garnish with parsley or green onions.

Shabbat Make-Ahead Plan

To prepare this dish in a way that’s fully kosher for Shabbat, all cooking must be completed before the candle lighting. This recipe works beautifully because it can be made in stages and kept warm without additional cooking.

• Thursday: Shape the gnocchi and freeze them on trays.
• Friday: Boil the frozen gnocchi, then mix them into the brisket and sauce. Keep the combined dish on a warm setting.
• Shabbat: Leave the slow cooker or warming drawer on low so the food stays hot, not cooking only warming.

This method follows the principles of *shehiyah* (leaving food on heat before Shabbat) and avoids *bishul* (cooking). Because the food is fully cooked before Shabbat, warming it is permitted. Avoid stirring or adding cold liquid once Shabbat begins.

The result is a delicious, tender meal that tastes freshly made, perfect for a Shabbat meal.

Flavor Notes

The honey adds a touch of sweetness that balances the BBQ’s smoky depth, while the red wine brings body and a velvety finish. Together, they elevate this classic into something both soulful and sophisticated.

A Taste of Home and Heart

In every family, there’s a recipe that becomes a bridge: between generations, between traditions, between people. For me, this one reminds me of that Succah afternoon, surrounded by friends, warmth, and laughter under the open sky.

Whether you serve it for Shabbat, a holiday meal, or just a cozy weekend dinner, may it fill your home with the same comfort and blessing it brought to mine.

More Cozy Comfort Recipes

Blinded by Eyes that Do Not See

Eyes closed, hearts awake—
On Yom Kippur, do not fast
from seeing the truth.

I celebrated Sukkot this year in downtown Miami, on a rooftop open to the sky. I felt deep excitement to be celebrating in such a glorious setting, surrounded by friends and a vibrant community. Jordan, our community catalyst, who blends the wisdom of an owl with the tenderness of a teddy bear, gathered us in joy.

I sat between Daniel and Sheldon, friends from my morning minyan. It had been a while since we’d seen each other. I asked a mundane question:
“How were your holidays?”, but for Jews today, nothing feels mundane anymore.

They replied, “We’re from Manchester, UK” and I sensed a sudden shift from light to solemn. One of their friends had been murdered in a terrorist attack at a synagogue on Yom Kippur; another, Andrew, was stabbed and fighting for his life. Andrew, they said, was a kind soul who volunteered as a synagogue guard not out of duty, but love.

After our conversation, I shared an email exchange I’d had with my friend George in the UK. When I wrote to him on Yom Kippur about the attack, his reply stunned me:

“Andy, Chatima tova. First Jew killed for being a Jew in over 30 years in the UK—so not quite as bad as my Israeli friends would like to portray it.”
I was dumbfounded. How could such horror be minimized rather than seen as a spiritual alarm bell?

Then, 5,000 miles away in Brookline, Massachusetts, a Harvard Law School professor fired a pellet gun near a synagogue on Yom Kippur, shattering a car window only steps from worshippers. Police pursued him as he resisted arrest. His explanation? “I was only shooting rats.”
To anyone who knows history, calling Jews “rats” near a synagogue on Yom Kippur is no innocent misunderstanding. Given Harvard’s report on institutional antisemitism and a president’s testimony that “calls for the genocide of Jews” could be justified “depending on the context”, this episode reads less like coincidence than compliance.

I read in the Harvard Crimson article, “Pellet Gun Incident Involving HLS Prof. Apparently Not Motivated by Antisemitism, Brookline Synagogue Leaders Say,” that the local synagogue leader stated, “From what we were initially told by police, the individual was unaware that he lived next to, and was shooting his BB gun next to, a synagogue or that it was a religious holiday.”
Once again, I was dumbfounded. The response—measured, perhaps well-intentioned—felt emblematic of our times, where analysis often replaces compassion. It failed to grasp the gravity of what had occurred: a Harvard Law professor firing near a synagogue on Yom Kippur, claiming to shoot rats. A Harvard student told me she and her Jewish classmates live in fear—harassed simply for being Jewish. How could someone be blinded by eyes that do not see?

On Yom Kippur we are commanded to fast, to afflict the body and awaken the soul. But nowhere are we told to be blind. We are taught to endure hunger, not to close our eyes. Yet many have grown indifferent to the surge of antisemitism in our society.

In just the past year:
• A “Free Palestine” terrorist murdered a man at a wedding in New Hampshire.
• A Jewish woman and her fiancé were shot at the Jewish Museum near the U.S. Capitol.
• An arsonist torched the home of Pennsylvania’s Jewish governor on the first night of Passover.
• A Holocaust survivor was burned alive in Boulder, Colorado.
• An elderly Jewish man was beaten to death in California.

Across campuses and even Congress, chants of “Globalize the Intifada” and claims that “calling for the genocide of Jews can be justified” echo as Jewish students are harassed. This is not random, it is a pattern.

I’m reminded of a story about Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. While camping, Holmes asked, “What do you notice?” Watson replied, “The wind has shifted, the dew point has risen, the constellations are visible.” Holmes smiled. “I notice that someone stole our tent.” This is us. We analyze and contextualize while the tent of Jewish safety is being stolen above our heads.

The Torah warns us to “remember” and “not forget”. To keep our eyes open. In Deuteronomy 32, the portion Ha’azinu, Moses sings:

“Give ear, O heavens, and I will speak; and let the earth hear the words of my mouth.” Later, God laments, “You neglected the Rock who bore you, and forgot the God who brought you forth.” (Deut. 32:18) Ha’azinu teaches that forgetting and blindness are intertwined; remembrance is an act of vision.

Apathy is the new evil. Doing nothing is the new harm. Complacent silence is the new blindness.

We do not need to be superhuman to be kind. Holiness begins with awareness, with seeing another’s need and choosing to act. On 9/11, Rick Rescorla, head of Morgan Stanley security, guided nearly 2,700 colleagues out of the South Tower, returning again and again until the building collapsed. During the Holocaust, Nicholas Winton and Oskar Schindler saved nearly 2,000 Jews. Not because they were extraordinary, but because they refused to close their eyes.

On October 7, 2023, amid unspeakable horror, countless Israelis showed that same sacred clarity. Farmer Oz Davidian drove into the line of fire to rescue 120 people. Shifra Buchris, a mother of ten, pulled victims to safety. Each saw clearly when others looked away.

It does not take perfection to do good; it takes perception. The act of seeing and responding.

Isaiah spoke of a people “who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear” (Isaiah 6:9). Our sages teach us that the first step of teshuvah(return) is not confession but recognition: the courage to see reality as it is. Awareness is the beginning of redemption.

One of my earliest memories of my mother was a freezing day in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I was five. She stopped the car in traffic, ran across the street, and chased down a hat blowing in the wind. She returned it to an elderly man who had lost it, then calmly got back in the car. That small act of kindness has stayed with me for decades. Holiness begins not in grand gestures, but in moments of awareness. Next time you can do something kind for a stranger, chase after that hat.

On Yom Kippur we close our mouths, but not our eyes. We must not be blind to hatred, nor to our duty to protect one another. The call is not to despair, but to vigilance.

Being a hero does not require heroics. Even a message, a “like,” or a kind word can be a form of light. Silence is more painful than a difficult conversation.

I return to my Sukkot dinner. After hearing Sheldon and Daniel share their loss, I asked, “Are you Manchester United fans?” Their faces lit up. When I mentioned that Patrice Evra is my friend, their smiles said everything.

Patrice Evra, the legendary French footballer who captained both Manchester United and France, earned over 80 caps, played in two World Cups, and became beloved for his passion and motto: “I love this game!” Yet he is an even more extraordinary human being than athlete. Each day, he seeks to lift others and make them smile, creating joy as his new way of scoring goals.

That morning, I messaged him: “Would you be a hero to my friends?” Within seconds, he recognized the signal. When I told him about Daniel and Sheldon’s connection to the Manchester attack, he immediately sent heartfelt video greetings:

“I believe in positiveness and never give up. I send you this message to make you smile and take care of yourself. Life is not always easy. Lots of love.”

In the midst of tragedy, Patrice found a way to shine light.

That same hope reminded me of Noah, who faced a world drowned in despair yet still looked upward. In Genesis 6–9, Noah built an ark to escape the flood. After the waters subsided, God promised the world would never again be destroyed by water, and the rainbow became the sign of that covenant. A bridge of light between heaven and earth. The Torah teaches that “the bow is seen in the clouds,” appearing only when storm and sunlight meet. According to the Midrash, God looked down and Noah looked up, and in that shared act of seeing, mercy replaced destruction. The rainbow reminds us that awareness itself can be sacred: to look beyond the storm and notice light through the clouds is to rediscover faith and hope in a still-healing world.

May Yom Kippur forever teach us not only how to fast, but how to see.

Andy, Sheldon, and Daniel at Succot in Miami, October 6th, 2025

Enjoy a haiku inspired by this blog
Fasting clears the eyes—
heart open, hunger made sight,
light enters the soul.

You can watch the videos Patrice Evra and Daniel recorded below:

“Elastic Faith: The Shared Soul of Israel and United States”

Faith, like folded flame,
Bends through time, still burning bright
Names reveal what be.

When I went to boarding school, my grandfather Normy would periodically send me a $20 bill with a handwritten note: “Here’s some lunch money for a pizza with your friends.” Pizzas only cost $5 at the time, but Normy knew I was struggling. Between the academic workload, being away from home, and the stress of growing up, his gesture was more than financial—it was spiritual nourishment. That extra portion of pizza carried an extra portion of love. I felt it deeply every time I opened Normy’s envelopes. (See the appendix for one of Normy’s letters to me from 1982.)

Years later, when I began leading Passover Seders for my children and their friends, I started giving dollar bills as a reward for finding the Afikomen. One day, I looked closely at the back of the U.S. $1 bill. There it was: an Egyptian pyramid. Intrigued, I researched further and discovered that our Founding Fathers felt a deep kinship with the story of the Exodus. John Adams once suggested the image of Moses parting the Red Sea while fleeing from Pharaoh as a proposed seal for the new nation—with the motto, “Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.”

In that moment, I realized that our spiritual founding fathers—Abraham in Torah, and Jefferson, Washington, Adams, and Franklin in America—shared more than vision. They shared faith.

When Moses asks God for His name at the burning bush, God responds with a phrase that is not a name in the ordinary sense: “Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh”—“I will be what I will be.” (Exodus 3:14). God is an unfolding presence—a verb, not a noun. In Jewish tradition, we often say “Hashem” (“The Name”), because God’s essence transcends definition.

This elasticity of God is what has sustained the Jewish people across centuries. It allows us to harmonize ancient rituals with modern life, to root ourselves in tradition while reaching for tomorrow.

It reminds me of a gymnast on a balance beam. The gymnast is constantly moving, adjusting, calibrating against gravity to avoid falling. Balance is not stillness; it is movement with purpose. Our faith in God is the same. It bends and flexes through grief and joy, always holding us aloft.

When our Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution, they did not just draft law—they drafted faith in the future. The longevity of the United States, the oldest representative democracy in history, rests on the Constitution’s flexibility. Article I, Section 8 includes what’s known as the Elastic Clause, which allows Congress to “make all laws which shall be necessary and proper” to carry out its enumerated powers. It’s a statement of dynamic potential. Some truths emerge only over time.

Similarly, the Torah’s definition of God as “I will be what I will be” is the original elastic clause. Both the Torah and the Constitution are rooted in the belief that truth and adaptive authority must endure across time.

Most countries have one name. But both Israel and the United States carry dual identities. Jacob, our patriarch, is also called Israel. Jacob (“heel”) reflects a life of tension and transformation. Israel is the name he receives after wrestling with the divine: “You have struggled with God and with man, and you have prevailed.” (Genesis 32:29). He becomes Israel not by avoiding conflict, but by engaging with it—spiritually, morally, internally.

Likewise, the United States is both ‘United’ and ‘States.’ The Constitution holds the tension between federal authority and state autonomy. We are both: one nation and fifty sovereign entities. From the Federalist Papers to civil rights struggles, we have wrestled with this dual identity. Yet like Jacob/Israel, we have not broken apart.

The United Kingdom built an empire based on monarchy. The United States never aspired to territorial conquest. Similarly, Israel has given up land for peace. Both the U.S. and Israel are covenantal nations, not colonial ones. They fight wars not to expand, but to survive…to win battles and wage peace.

Freedom to worship was central to both stories. Avram left his father’s house and turned away from idol worship to pursue a covenant with the one true God. His embrace of monotheism laid the foundation for Judaism, and later Christianity and Islam. Like the Puritans crossing the Atlantic, Avram crossed into the unknown, guided by faith. In 1790, George Washington affirmed this ideal in a letter to Moses Seixas of the Touro Synagogue: “The Government of the United States gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance… Everyone shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree, and there shall be none to make him afraid.”

Founded in 1701, Yale University adopted the Latin motto Lux et Veritas (“Light and Truth”), but uniquely features the Hebrew phrase אורים ותמים (Urim v’Tummim) in its seal—a reference to the High Priest’s breastplate in the Mishkan/Tabernacle, symbolizing divine truth. This blending of biblical tradition and academic pursuit reflects the deep influence of Jewish thought in America’s founding.

Even the word ‘Hebrew’ (Ivrit / עברית) means ‘to cross over.’ From Noah’s Ark to Moses’ basket on the Nile to the parting of the Sea of Reeds, water crossings are rebirth moments. So too, Columbus, the Mayflower, and George Washington crossing the Potomac echo biblical voyages. The U.S. and Israel sail forward with sacred adaptability—transcending the present by honoring the past to reach the future.

There is another tradition from Normy that I passed to my children. In addition to treasuring his letters, I carry his favorite saying close to my heart: “Don’t let anyone rain on your parade.” It was Normy’s way of teaching me to have faith in the future and overcome short-term storms. As I reflect, it’s become my personal elastic clause, a phrase I’ve passed on to help my children navigate their own seas of uncertainty. Like the U.S. and Israel, Normy taught me to weather storms without losing spirit, to keep marching forward, even in the rain.

With belief in one God sparked by Avraham, carried by Moses who led the Children of Israel out of slavery, and lived through Jacob who became Israel, our people’s soul was forged through faith and perseverance. Across millennia we have endured: from Amalek to Pharaoh, Babylonian exile to Roman rule, Greek persecution to Ottoman oppression. Still we stand.

The American Revolution was also a triumph against the greatest empire of its time. Both Israel and the U.S. were born in defiance of tyranny—two divine Davids rising up against recurring Goliaths. Sustained by faith. Strengthened by struggle. And anchored in hope.

Perhaps that is the ultimate bond between Israel and the United States: not merely a strategic alliance, but a shared soul. Two peoples with dual names, eternal covenants, and sacred struggles. Each carrying faith like a torch: sometimes flickering, never extinguished.

Haiku:
Two names, one purpose—
Jacob wrestles, States unite
Faith bends but holds fast

Appendix:

This is one of my grandfather Normy’s letters to me from 1982.

Appendix / Further Reading

John Adams

Yale Emblem

Founded in 1701, Yale University adopted the Latin motto “Lux et Veritas”—Light and Truth—but uniquely embedded in its official seal is the Hebrew phrase “אורים ותמים” (Urim v’Tummim), meaning “light and perfection,” a sacred reference to the Kohen Gadol’s breastplate used for divine communication in the Mishkan (Tabernacle) at Shiloh, beautifully linking Yale’s intellectual pursuit of truth with the biblical tradition of spiritual insight. A nod to the deep influence of Jewish thought in America’s founding.

Touro Synagogue / George Washington

In the early 17th century, the Puritans set sail aboard the Mayflower seeking freedom to worship without persecution, founding the Plymouth Colony in 1620 and later the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Their exodus from England was inspired by a deep spiritual conviction—echoing the biblical journey of the Israelites from Egypt. For the Puritans, America represented a new promised land, a place to build a covenantal society rooted in faith and moral law. Their legacy helped shape the foundational ideals of religious liberty that later guided the American Revolution and still echo in the spiritual kinship between the United States and Israel today.

UK Empire Aspirations

In 1982, the long-standing sovereignty dispute between the United Kingdom and Argentina over the Falkland Islands (Islas Malvinas) erupted into a 10-week war after Argentina’s military invaded the British-held territory in the South Atlantic. Britain responded swiftly, reclaiming the islands and causing significant casualties on both sides—255 British, 649 Argentine, and three Falkland Islanders. Though the military conflict ended on June 14, 1982, the diplomatic standoff persists into 2025, with Argentina still asserting its claim and Britain maintaining its position based on the islanders’ right to self-determination. The emotional resonance of the conflict extended even to the tennis world: in 1983, Argentine tennis stars Guillermo Vilas and José Luis Clerc—both ranked in the world’s top five—boycotted Wimbledon in protest of British control. Geographically, the Falkland Islands lie about 300 miles (480 km) east of Argentina and nearly 8,050 miles (12,955 km) from the United Kingdom, underscoring the enduring tensions over this remote archipelago.

  1. 1. Moses Seixas’ Address to President Washington

(Yeshuat Israel, Newport, 17 August 1790)
To the President of the United States of America. Sir:

Permit the children of the stock of Abraham to approach you with the most cordial affection and esteem for your person & merits — and to join with our fellow Citizens in welcoming you to Newport.

With pleasure we reflect on those days — those days of difficulty, & danger, when the God of Israel, who delivered David from the peril of the sword, — shielded Your head in the day of battle: — and we rejoice to think, that the same Spirit, who rested in the Bosom of the greatly beloved Daniel enabling him to preside over the Provinces of the Babylonish Empire, rests and ever will rest, upon you, enabling you to discharge the arduous duties of Chief Magistrate in these States.

Deprived as we heretofore have been of the invaluable rights of free Citizens, we now with a deep sense of gratitude to the Almighty disposer of all events behold a Government, erected by the Majesty of the People — a Government, which to bigotry gives no sanction, to persecution no assistance — but generously affording to all Liberty of conscience, and immunities of Citizenship: deeming every one, of whatever Nation, tongue, or language equal parts of the great governmental Machine:

This so ample and extensive Federal Union whose basis is Philanthropy, Mutual confidence and Public Virtue, we cannot but acknowledge to be the work of the Great God, who ruleth in the Armies of Heaven, and among the Inhabitants of the Earth, doing whatever seemeth him good.

For all the Blessings of civil and religious liberty which we enjoy under an equal and benign administration, we desire to send up our thanks to the Ancient of Days, the great preserver of Men — beseeching him, that the Angel who conducted our forefathers through the wilderness into the promised Land, may graciously conduct you through all the difficulties and dangers of this mortal life: —
And, when, like Joshua full of days and full of honor, you are gathered to your Fathers, may you be admitted into the Heavenly Paradise to partake of the water of life, and the tree of immortality.

Done and Signed by order of the Hebrew Congregation in Newport, Rhode Island, August 17th 1790.

Moses Seixas, Warden

You can view a PDF of the full address here.

  1. George Washington’s Reply to the Hebrew Congregation

(21 August 1790)
Gentlemen:

While I receive, with much satisfaction, your Address replete with expressions of esteem, I rejoice in the opportunity of assuring you that I shall always retain a grateful remembrance of the cordial welcome I experienced on my visit to Newport, from all classes of citizens.

The reflection on the days of difficulty and danger which are past is rendered the more sweet, from a consciousness that they are succeeded by days of uncommon prosperity and security.

If we have wisdom to make the best use of the advantages with which we are now favored, we cannot fail, under the just administration of a good government, to become a great and happy people.

The citizens of the United States of America have a right to applaud themselves for having given to mankind examples of an enlarged and liberal policy — a policy worthy of imitation. All possess alike liberty of conscience and immunities of citizenship.

It is now no more that toleration is spoken of as if it were the indulgence of one class of people that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights; for, happily, the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support.

It would be inconsistent with the frankness of my character not to avow that I am pleased with your favorable opinion of my administration and fervent wishes for my felicity.

May the children of the stock of Abraham who dwell in this land continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other inhabitants; while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree and there shall be none to make him afraid.

May the father of all mercies scatter light, and not darkness, upon our paths, and make us all in our several vocations useful here, and in His own due time and way everlastingly happy.

 

Four Freedoms: Count Your Blessings

On Wednesday, September 10, Charlie Kirk was assassinated. It was a turning point for the world. A young man was killed for his words and beliefs. Charlie was not a politician; he was a private citizen whose mission was to share his ideas, invite dialogue, and debate those who disagreed. He was a gatherer of people. Like Abraham, who pitched his tent open on all four sides to welcome strangers, Charlie created a space for conversation. Others found hate within debate; Charlie saw it as opportunity for collaborative curiosity. Others kept ideological opponents at a distance; Charlie welcomed them inside and in his signature style say, “Step to the front of the line if you disagree with me.”

For more than twenty five years, I have often visited Lenox, Massachusetts, and made regular pilgrimages to the Norman Rockwell Museum. Norman Rockwell was an iconic illustrator whose Saturday Evening Post covers entered living rooms across the country, sparking conversations about the pressing issues of the day. While Charlie carried a microphone to make his point, Norman Rockwell wielded a paintbrush.

I often brought my daughters to the museum, and together we would stand in the central gallery surrounded by Rockwell’s most famous works: the Four Freedoms. Each painting filled a wall., Each visit to the museum invited a new discussion. I can still recall the joy of hearing my children’s fresh insights as we studied Freedom of Speech, Freedom to Worship, Freedom from Fear, and Freedom from Want.

Charlie’s passing drew me back to those enduring canvases. Just as Rockwell painted with sincerity and vision, Charlie lived these Four Freedoms with equal devotion, embodying their ideals through his voice, actions, and life.

I would like to visit each of these paintings in memory of Charlie.

Charlie’s devotion to Freedom of Speech ended at the barrel of an assassin’s gun. He was killed while speaking freely to the college students who had become his flock. A radicalized young man filled with hate silenced him. The tragedy recalls Robert F. Kennedy, assassinated in 1968 by a Palestinian radical, even as he too advocated for Israel as a homeland for Jews, Christians, and Muslims. Both Charlie and RFK paid the ultimate price for their commitment to free speech and Israel.

As we turned to the right in the central gallery, we faced Rockwell’s prophetic Freedom to Worship. Yet just around the corner, another canvas came into view: The Problem We All Live With. In it, Rockwell depicted Ruby Bridges, a six-year-old Black girl, walking to school past rotten tomatoes staining the school wall and under the jeers of segregationists.

Ruby’s story is often remembered as a triumph of courage and innocence, yet the political reality was harsher. In 1960, when she integrated the William Frantz Elementary School in New Orleans, Louisiana’s Democratic governor, Jimmie Davis opposed desegregation. Like many Southern Democratic governors of the era, he resisted federal court orders enforcing Brown v. Board of Education. Ruby’s entry into school was not permitted by state leadership but compelled by federal authority, with U.S. marshals escorting her through hostile crowds. Across the South, other Democratic governors including Orval Faubus in Arkansas, Ross Barnett in Mississippi, George Wallace in Alabama, and Lester Maddox in Georgia fought bitterly to preserve segregation and divide Black and White students. Rockwell’s painting immortalized Ruby’s bravery and the cruelty she endured, reminding us that progress came not through local goodwill but through federal intervention against entrenched local resistance.

When I studied at Harvard, I was privileged to learn from Dr. Robert Coles, the psychiatrist who counseled Ruby during those tense days. He recalled that as U.S. marshals escorted her past angry crowds, Ruby sometimes paused, her lips silently speaking. When he later asked what she had been saying, she answered softly, “I was praying for them.” A child, facing hatred, offered not fear but forgiveness. That is the power of worship, to transform persecution into prayer.

After Charlie’s death, we witnessed something unusual. So often, tragedy is followed by riots, vandalism, and violence. But in this case, people gathered in vigils and prayer. His death broke our hearts but somehow unified our spirits.

The next painting in the central gallery as we turned further right was Freedom from Fear. How do we live without fear when a man can be shot for his opinion? I think of President Reagan after the 1981 assassination attempt. Lying on the operating table, he asked his surgeon, “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?” The surgeon replied, “Mr. President, today we are all Republicans.” In the wake of Charlie’s death, perhaps we can say: today, we are all Charlies.

Our final turn to the right put us in front of the last of the four paintings,  Freedom from Want. Charlie’s generosity also lives on in stories of scholarships and travel grants for students to attend Turning Point USA. In this, Charlie embodied Rockwell’s Freedom from Want. Not in material wealth, but in spiritual and professional opportunity. His spark helped others kindle their own futures.

In the spirit of Charlie’s biblical pedagogical process, I looked to the Torah for some answers. However, the Torah offers no story of a leader who was assassinated. While there were threats of killing when Esau plotted against Jacob,  reconciliation won. When Saul sought David’s life, but David cut only the corner of Saul’s robe, showing honor over vengeance.

I then looked to the biblical figure most like Charlie is Moses. Moses is forever speaking, teaching, rebuking, and inspiring the Israelites toward the Promised Land, yet himself never entering. Moses faced many challenges among the Children of Israel as he led them from slavery toward Eretz Yisrael / The Promised Land.  In the wilderness there were determined dissents: the Golden Calf, the spies’ defection, and Korach’s rebellion. Yet Moses inspired the Children of Israel to remain united, overcoming these fractures by lifting up the voice of God and renewing faith in the Promise Land.

Harmony of Opposition

In our own day, Charlie faced rebellion and dissent each time he stepped onto a college campus. Yet, like Moses, he kept his tent of teaching open, inviting dialogue with his detractors. In doing so, he turned conflict into conversation and built blessed bridges where others only saw division. With staff and with microphone, in the desert and on college campuses, Moses and Charlie spoke hope into dissent and created community from conflict. Even Greek mythology points to this truth: Harmonia, daughter of Ares (god of war) and Aphrodite (goddess of love), embodied the union of opposites. From war and love came harmony. So too did Charlie, harmonizing love and conflict into dialogue, and turning the clash of ideas into a canopy of community.

What is God’s plan?

An eternal question is how can a man such as Charlie who was so committed to his faith in God in every way, be taken from our world so tragically at such a young age?  In Erika Kirks’ own words, she said  “God is Good. There is a reason for God’s Plan”

Perhaps this week’s Torah portion, Deuteronomy 26, offers a clue. Moses warns the Israelites of destruction if they abandon God’s commandments. He also commands them to bring their bikkurim, their first fruits, as offerings of gratitude upon entering the Promised Land. His words carry both rebuke and hope: a reminder of consequences and a vision of abundance when faith is honored.

Charlie’s life and death echo this message. Before his passing, he built a passionate community which has greatly expanded since his death.  His message of faith, freedom, and courage has spread further still, while his haters have been unmasked by their own words and actions.

We live in a time when antisemitism and attacks on Israel have exploded. In the last 30 days, our nation’s moral core has been shaken—on August 29, 2025, in Minneapolis, six Catholic children were murdered while they prayed, with bullet casings engraved with hatred toward Jews, Israel, and Catholics. As Pastor Martin Niemöller warned after the Nazi regime: “First they came for the socialists … then they came for the Jews … then they came for me.” Hatred may begin with Jews but never ends there. Today hateful attacks have also targeted Christians, Ukrainians, Hindus, and others—reminding us that an assault on one faith is ultimately an assault on all.

John F. Kennedy, in his Inaugural Address on January 20, 1961, famously said: “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” In that moment, JFK inspired a generation to dream boldly, to act selflessly, and to build a better world together.

Just days before Charlie’s death, a young Ukrainian woman, Iryna Pushka, was stabbed to death on a Charlotte, North Carolina train while passengers looked away in chilling callousness. It was the horrific opposite of the call to community. Instead of service, there was silence. Instead of courage, there was complicity. The moral turpitude of those passive passengers raises the searing question: how can a society become so barren of compassion that not one person intervened? Despite explicit video evidence of Iryna’s murder and of the passengers’ complicit complacency, the muted response from much of the media and the indifference of some public leaders revealed an even deeper wound: apathy layered upon atrocity.

That same multi-headed monster of hate, apathy, and grieving has resurfaced beside Charlie’s assassination.  Inexplicably, there are many that have celebrated Charlie’s murder which feels like Sodom and Gomorrah revived.

JFK himself was assassinated, and with him a piece of America’s moral vision was wounded. His ideals of courage, service, and sacrifice now seem tarnished in the mirror of our current moral decay. The challenge before us is whether we can recover that spirit and reclaim a society worthy of compassion, courage, and community.

Why was Charlie assassinated?

What if God needed Charlie to help amplify his message, just as Moses did in Deuteronomy? Reminding a “mixed multitude” that faith and gratitude are the keys to entering the Promised Land. Perhaps Charlie’s message needed to shine down from heaven rather than remain bound to earth. In Exodus, manna rained from heaven on the first Shabbat, God’s sustenance for his children. Charlie, too, fervently honored the Jewish Shabbat each week, living in rhythm with that eternal gift.

As we mourn Charlie Kirk’s death, the Jewish prayer of the Mourner’s Kaddish offers us a guide. Each week, Jewish mourners recite this ancient prayer. Two elements stand out as guideposts for us today.

First, the prayer itself never mentions death. Instead, it magnifies God’s name, affirming life and hope in the face of loss. Tradition holds that the earliest form of this prayer was offered after the passing of a great teacher whose words were deeply missed. Two lines capture its essence: “May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity,” and “May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel” These words remind us that even in grief we can choose to make a name into a blessing and to seek peace beyond ourselves.

Second, the Mourner’s Kaddish is never said alone. Jewish law requires a community of at least nine others to surround the mourner, to share the burden of grief, and to amplify the prayer. So too may we, in mourning Charlie, continue to unite as a community, to carry one another in sorrow, and to bring peace into our fractured world.

In Erika Kirk’s words,

“I will never, ever have the words to describe the loss that I feel in my heart … Charlie … I know you do too. … Our world is filled with evil. But our God … is so good. So incredibly good. … And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good…” Charlie, baby. Charlie … I promise I will never let your legacy die … Rest in the arms of our Lord … ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.

Charlie asked “to be remembered for courage for my faith … the most important thing is my faith.”

As Maimonides wrote in Mishneh Torah, Bikkurim, Chapter 4, after offering the first-ripened fruits (bikkurim), one must also bring a peace offering and recite song, raising the fruits in all four directions as a sign of gratitude to God, before remaining in Jerusalem overnight. This ancient ritual of fruit, peace, song, and four directions mirrors Rockwell’s Four Freedoms. Just as the pilgrim turned in every direction to proclaim thankfulness, so too we now turn to Charlie’s legacy: freedom of speech, freedom to worship, freedom from fear, and freedom from want. With each direction, we offer gratitude, and with each prayer we trust that Charlie rests in Jerusalem—the eternal city of peace—and in the heavens, embraced by divine abundance.

As Charlie would remind us: faith first, family always, life is sacred, and work as service; this is how we count our blessings, and how we can live with purpose.

And if we do, then step by step, soul by soul, … together, as a mixed multitude,…we will enter the Promised Land.

Epilogue

In what became his final public words, Charlie Kirk was asked to share a favorite passage. He responded simply: “This too shall pass.” Hours later, he was gone. Yet those words, rooted in Jewish wisdom (Gam Zeh Ya’avor), carry an enduring lesson. Seasons of trial are not eternal; grief itself will one day give way to healing. Charlie’s life and his message now live beyond the tragedy of his death, reminding us that despair will pass, but faith, courage, and community remain. As he once said, “I want to be remembered for courage and for my faith. The most important thing in my life is my faith.” May we carry that charge forward, remembering not only that pain passes, but that purpose persists.

You can read more about Kirk’s last word here and more about Gam Zeh Ya’avor here.

Further Reading

You can read more about finding harmony in opposition here.

You can read about how we can overcome spiritual schisms here.

You can read more about grasping how tragedies can befall good people here.

You can read about how the tragic death of the Bibas boys became a powerful call for community here.

You can read more about the promised land here.

 

Appendix: Torah References

Abraham’s Open Tent

  • Genesis 18:1–8 – Abraham sits at his tent’s entrance, welcoming three strangers, offering food and hospitality. This passage is the source for the teaching that Abraham’s tent was open on all four sides.

Esau and Jacob

  • Genesis 27:41 – Esau plans to kill Jacob after the blessing.
  • Genesis 33:4 – Instead of killing him, Esau embraces Jacob, symbolizing reconciliation.

David and Saul’s Robe

  • 1 Samuel 24:11 – David spares Saul’s life in the cave, cutting only the corner of his robe to show honor over vengeance.

The Golden Calf

  • Exodus 32:1–35 – While Moses is on Sinai, the people demand a calf of gold; Moses intercedes after God’s anger.

The Spies’ Defection

  • Numbers 13:1–33; 14:1–45 – Twelve spies are sent to scout the land. Ten spread fear, while Caleb and Joshua urge faith and courage. The people rebel.

Korach’s Rebellion

  • Numbers 16:1–35 – Korach and his followers challenge Moses and Aaron’s leadership; the earth swallows the rebels.

Bikkurim – First Fruits

  • Deuteronomy 26:1–11 – Instruction to bring the first fruits of the land to the Temple as an offering of gratitude to God.

Blessings and Curses

  • Deuteronomy 28:1–68 – Moses lists the blessings if Israel obeys, and the curses if they disobey God’s commandments.

The Mixed Multitude

  • Exodus 12:38 – When Israel left Egypt, a “mixed multitude” went with them, symbolizing diverse peoples joining in the journey.

Manna and the First Shabbat

  • Exodus 16:22–30 – Manna falls from heaven with double portions on the sixth day, teaching Israel to rest on the seventh, the first Shabbat.

Norman Rockwell Museum

Located in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, the Norman Rockwell Museum houses the world’s largest collection of original Rockwell artwork. Its galleries showcase not only Rockwell’s iconic Four Freedoms and Saturday Evening Post covers, but also later works grappling with social justice themes. A pilgrimage for anyone seeking to understand the visual roots of American ideals, the Museum offers rotating exhibits, educational programs, and deeply moving art that invites reflection and dialogue.